Could this week get any better for the Chicago Cubs? I mean, they got the snot beat out of them by the Dodgers in the first round of the playoffs, getting swept for the second straight year. It was a devastating blow to Cubs fans all over, as I have a few friends who have slipped into catatonic states over it, and has even caused some to put their loyalty up for auction.

Of course, if whoring yourself out isn't your style, you could always just do what everybody else is and blame Kosuke Fukudome. It can't be that the Dodgers were just the better team, after all, there has to be something to blame. Whether it's a player, a goat, a black cat, or Steve Bartman. Well, I have some news for you Cubs fans out there that you might find a bit shocking. It's not a curse or any other stupid reason why you haven't won a title in one hundred years. There's something far more powerful at work here.

God hates you. Seriously. He hates you and your team with a passion. Don't believe me? Check this out.

Cubs reliever Carlos Marmol suffered minor injuries in a car accident early Tuesday in the Dominican Republic.

A truck hit a car carrying Marmol, a cousin and a friend in his hometown of Bonao near 2 a.m. The All-Star right-hander had just arrived in the Caribbean nation after the Cubs were swept by the Los Angeles Dodgers in the playoffs.

International Pastime looks at baseball's influence outside the U.S.

You've probably noticed over the last few years there have been a lot more players in MLB with names that are hard to pronounce, or just sound dirty. Yes, Japan is quickly becoming the new Latin America as just about every team these days is adding a Japanese player to their roster.

It's hard to blame them for it, as guys like Ichiro Suzuki, Daisuke Matsuzaka, Hideki Matsui, and Akinori Iwamura are proving themselves to be pretty good players. It's also nice to have a Kosuke Fukudome around for a fan base to blame for everything.

Of course, on the flip side of this equation is Japan. Due to the amount of Japanese players crossing the Pacific for the honor of facing off against John Lannan and the Washington Nationals, it's leaving the Japanese league a little thin. Which is why they've decided to implement a new policy in hopes of keeping players from leaving the island.

An executive committee representing Japan's 12 professional baseball teams have agreed to introduce a ban on players returning to Japanese baseball after turning down rookie draft nominations in Japan and signing with overseas pro teams.

I'll admit that I am a tad bit biased on this examination, because I hate Chip Caray as an announcer. From the unoriginal "Steve Stone has never picked up a dinner check" every freaking game for his years with the Cubs to the way he laughs when he finishes non-funny sentences ... I just think he's a brutal baseball announcer. If his name wasn't Caray (or Albert or Brennaman) he'd be working minor league games on the radio.

Usually when fans say the announcers seemed like they were rooting against a team, it's lame. Yet last night it really felt like Chip was pulling for the Angels, and I'm unbiased. The cherry on top was when the Angels tied the game on a two RBI single off the bat of Torii Hunter.

You see, the Bostonians had been doing the old, slow, "TORRRRRRR - EEEEEEEEE" chant during the at-bat.

The instant Vladimir Guerrero crossed home plate, Chip exclaimed -- in jubilation -- "And no one's chanting now!"

It came off like smack-talk. I could understand if he was a home announcer -- like doing play by play for the Angels radio station -- but he's supposed to be a national announcer, thus without bias.

Sure sounded biased to me.

Now that Brian Cashman has signed on for three more years, it's time for the Yankees to get back to doing what they do best -- namely, throwing ungodly sums of money at players. The starting rotation needs the most attention, especially considering Chien-Ming Wang, who made all of 15 starts in 2008, is the only sure thing.

Feel free to pencil Joba Chamberlain in for a spot, though given his injury history, anything more than 20 starts should be considered gravy. Theoretically Philip Hughes and/or Ian Kennedy will contend for a spot, but only if they make huge strides over the offseason.

Andy Pettitte? As of last month he still hadn't decided if he wanted to play another year. Same goes for Mike Mussina, who told the New York Daily News yesterday he hasn't "put a timetable" on making up his mind.

So what other options are the Yankees considering? George King III of the New York Post is convinced CC Sabathia, the jewel of free agency, is headed for California, which could make A.J. Burnett the new top option.

At FanHouse, one man's trash is another man's treasure. But only the few raise to the level of Notable Moments in FanHouse Commenting.

Are you an angry man? Are you envious? Do you get envious? Are you a Chicago Cub? A Chicago Cubs fan? A resident of Chicago? A fan of Lake Michigan's beautiful shores and scenic vistas and countless recreational opportunities?

Are you the center of the universe? Are you Chicago? (Is it possible that the two things are the same?) Are you ... president George W. Bush? If you answered yes to any of the above, "Larry," today's Notable FanHouse Commenter, believes you suck:

It doesn't matter who the Cubs have of their roster, they will never win the World Series. They lose because they suck and so do their fans. In fact, the city of Chicago sucks also and so does that polluted lake they have. If you wanted to go to the center of the suckiness in universe, that would be in Chicago. I'm surprised that George Bush isn't from Chicago, cause he sucks as well.

I have heard many things in my life "suck." I am 23, prime age for the doctrine of "suck," where everything either "sucks" or "is lame" or, most egregiously, "gay." Never, ever have I heard someone apply these adjectives to Lake Michigan. How dare you, Larry. Apologize, at once.

Or don't; Lake Michigan has been here for millions of years. What have you ever done?

As would be expected, Chicago Cubs fans haven't been the happiest people the last couple of days. You can't really blame them, as for the second straight year they had to watch their team have an excellent regular season only to be swept out of the first round of the playoffs. They've now lost nine straight postseason games, and they've now gone 100 years without a World Series title.

Of course, they wouldn't be so unhappy had the Cubs actually managed to put up a fight against the Dodgers instead of just rolling over. In fact, the Cubs played so horribly in the series that it's caused at least one fan to give up his loyalty to the team. He still needs a team to root for, though, and if you think your team could use another fan you can always buy his allegiance on eBay.

I hate to say it, but I think the time has come. What time, do you ask? Time to place another hex on the lowly Chicago Cubs. Granted, I've only suffered through 30 useless seasons of our "loveable" north-siders, but I've taken all I can take.

So, I have a proposition. In the interest of sparing my emotions from one more gut-wrenching season, I am auctioning off my loyalty to the Chicago Cubs. Now, since I realize that seems somewhat fatalistic, I will also make the provision that I will accept bids from ANYONE, even Cubs fans. That means that my loyalty will go to the highest bidder, even if that means I have to get my guts scooped out every year for the rest of my life (as a result of a winning Cubs bid).

This morning, Mr. Lackey touched on the self-canceling nature of Frank Caliendo's apology. For the second consecutive baseball postseason, Frank TV commercials have carped-bombed the baseball-watching experience, and Caliendo expresses remorse. In the same breath, though, he suggests that it wouldn't be advertised so much if the ratings were higher.

Math time. I think it's fair to say that Frank TV gets twenty thirty-second slots per game. Multiply that by, say, four games you might watch in a week on TBS. From commercials alone, that's 40 minutes of Frank TV. Nearly two episodes' worth. I believe we have already paid our Caliendo tax, sir.

Regardless, he is capable of the occasional funny impression, so I have allowed him to perform today's Dugout! It's after the jump.

Yesterday Josh Alper told you about Brandon Backe being arrested at a wedding over the weekend. According to the police report, Brandon resisted arrest and confronted the officers and had to be subdued, along with quite a few other people in attendance at the wedding. Well, it's starting to look like the Galveston police department may have gone a little too far.

According to witness testimony, it was the police who were acting out of line, and now the Galveston police department is launching it's own internal investigation into the incident.

Witnesses said Monday that police needlessly beat, Tasered and pepper-sprayed wedding guests who were trying to comply with police commands during an incident in which officers arrested 10 people, including Backe, at an outdoor bar at the San Luis Hotel on Seawall Boulevard.

Daniel Cole O'Balle, 19, was injured during the incident and flown by helicopter to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston. Backe was charged with three counts of assault on a public servant and two counts of retaliation. He was released on $115,000 bond.

Galveston police spokesman Cpt. Walter Braun said the department's office of professional conduct was conducting an internal investigation, although no formal complaints of officer misconduct had been received. "This administration is taking a proactive step," Braun said.

Now that the season has ended for the White Sox it's time for the organization to start looking towards 2009. Sure, the team won the AL Central this season, but their series against the Tampa Bay Rays helped expose quite a few flaws that the team had, and some changes will need to be made if the team is going to get back to the playoffs again next year.

Of course, if you're going to bring in new players that means you have to get rid of the ones you have. Whether or not Ken Griffey Jr. is one of the players to go, or if he'll be back remains to be seen, but we can be pretty sure Junior isn't going to retire and make the decision easy.

''I'm not retiring. I have things to do,'' Griffey said, already at 611 home runs and turning 39 next month.

''I'd like to come back [to the White Sox],'' he said. ''It was a great ride. A lot of fun. I've had more ups than downs. The city, the fans, it's been great for me. This team fought all year. They were fun to be around. We'll see what happens.''

Well it's nice that you want to come back, Ken, but I can't say I want you back. Seeing Junior play just about everyday for two months helped me see just how far he has fallen from greatness. I knew he wasn't the same player anymore, but I had no idea how bad things had gotten.

The truth is, Griffey is exactly the kind of player on the White Sox roster they need to replace. They have enough concrete footed sluggers in their lineup, and really, Griffey isn't much of a slugger anymore anyway.

It's a few days after the tragedy of a baseball team not winning the World Series, and Chicago's media is still searching for explanations to this Great and Sudden Collapse. The latest? The crumb-bums should have traded for Brian Roberts!

In the bitter end, the difference might have been Brian Roberts, after all. Maybe he wouldn't have overcome the walks in Game 1 or the errors in Game 2, but the Cubs' woeful lack of playoff hitting comes down to two big deficiencies:

Notice, if you will, the contradiction in the first two sentences. The difference was Brian Roberts! Or maybe not, really, but still!

The reasons given here are: The Cubs have no "true" leadoff hitter (yes, they do: Ryan Theriot, though it doesn't matter because Alfonso Soriano is a terrible, inflexible meanie), and the Cubs need more "respected" left-handed hitters. Maybe. Or maybe the lineup that was arguably the best in all of baseball in the regular season had a bad three games, had them just as easily as they could have had three really good ones. Maybe wishcasting for Brian Roberts sort of misses the simple nature of the playoffs: The Cubs were really good, and then ... weren't. Just like the Angels.

Nahhhhh: It was definitely Brian Roberts.