Daisuke Matsuzaka Is Learning English From the Wrong People

Somewhere along the line, I remember hearing that English was one of the most difficult languages to learn. I can buy that. Through vs. thorough? Those are like the exact same word!

So I can understand Daisuke Matsuzaka's desire to learn English through a more enjoyable route: movies. But I fear that Dice-K might be getting some, um, incomplete linguistic lessons:

Matsuzaka said he watched movies to help him learn English - ''Lethal Weapon" with Bruce Willis, ''Cliffhanger" with Sylvester Stallone. In the midst of a string of Japanese words, he spoke two familiar ones: ''Meg Ryan."

First of all, dude, Meg Ryan is so 1998. Cute, yeah, but we've all moved on since then. (Have you met Scarlett?)

Second: if you're trying to learn English, Sylvester Stallone is the absolute last person you should be paying attention to. Bruce Willis is borderline -- "Zed's dead" is simple enough construction -- but Stallone? He doesn't even speak English! He speaks a primitive, HGH-enhanced system of grunts and mumbles. You might as well buy a "Communicating With the Primates" tape, because if you model your speech patterns after Sly Stallone, they're going to be the only ones that will understand you.

(Via Fark)