It's Easter Sunday, so Jesus is on a lot of people's minds, including mine. So as I was watching Saturday night's Rangers/Red Sox game I had a revelation.Sammy Sosa is just like Jesus Christ.
Seriously.
Think about it for a while. Sosa came from nothing as a child, like Jesus. Sosa then spent his childhood preparing himself very hard for what he wanted to do as an adult, like Jesus. Then around the age of 25 Sosa reached prominence with the Chicago Cubs, just like Jesus did at around the same age.
Sosa would then go on to be a cult hero in Chicago, like Jesus(!), as he went four straight seasons with at least 50 home runs. Everytime he performed one of his long ball miracles, he would point to the sky and thank God. That's right. Just like Jesus.
But then the people of Chicago turned on Sosa, just like Jesus, and he was treated as a martyr for all that was wrong with the Cubs. He was then run out of town to Baltimore where he was thrown away.
Sosa's baseball career was over. It had died. Just . Like. Jesus.
Then this year Sosa's career came back to life, say it with me now, just like Jesus, as he had a great spring training to make the Rangers roster out of nowhere. Finally, on the night before Christians celebrate the resurrection of Christ, Sosa was born again as he hit his first home run since August 4th, 2005.
I can't be the only one who's noticed this, can I? All Sammy needs is a beard and a robe and he basically is Jesus.
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
you know that water he pours down his face, drinks, then spits out? turns to wine. then his little man servant would bathe in it. i've seen it. he is risen!
What an ignorant and offensive comment.
mj
I think you are pathetic.
I like to picture Jesus as a mischievous badger.