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MLB

The Battle for Red Sox Nation Heats Up

Posted Jul 20, 2007 10:40AM By Eamonn Brennan (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Boston, Red Sox, AL East, MLB Fans, MLB Media Watch

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Sometimes, it's tough for me to detect tongue-in-cheek-ness, so I could be off a little bit here ... but Bill Simmons is absolutely firing away at Jerry Remy for Remy's tongue-in-cheek destruction of Simmons' Red Sox Nation President application on a Sox broadcast this week.

After Remy pretended he didn't know who Simmons was, and appeared to take Simmons' signature brand of irony seriously, Simmons is punching his way out of the corner like Lil' Mac:
Remy has not been this uspet since the Store 24 called him and told him they were not going to be carrying Marlboro Reds anymore.

You know what, Jerry Remy? Normally, I don't feud with retiring second basemen unless they have a career OPS over .660. In this case, I'm going to make an exception.

Originally, I had planned to bow out of the race and throw my support behind the great Peter Gammons, who really should be Red Sox Nation president. But screw that. I'm going to stay in the race, I'm going to win the presidency, and you know what my first act's going to be? I'm going to push the Red Sox to ban all smoking in Fenway Park.

You're screwed, Remy. You're going to be announcing Red Sox games with a two-foot nicotine patch on your right arm, and every time the Sox are putting together a rally, you're going to frantically be chewing seven pieces of Nicorette at the same time. Eventually, you're going to need Jim Rice to carry you out of the press box, like he did after you blew out your knee in '83.

So, I'm coming for you, Jerry Remy. I'm coming after you and I'm coming after your lungs.

Sorry, but even if Simmons is just joking, those are some serious shots. Maybe they email all the time, and this is a Kaufmanesque joke on the public, but I don't know. Knee jokes cut deep.

And from what I can tell, Remy is every bit as beloved in the RSN as Simmons, and perhaps moreso, since Remy has stayed local and Simmons blew up and moved to L.A. Who will win the battle for the voters' hearts and minds? I smell more mudslinging in our future.

(Thanks to Dan Lamothe for the exceptional work.)

Tags: Bill+Simmons, BillSimmons, Jerry+Remy, JerryRemy

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