But, But ... What Will Pedro Gomez Do?

You think you're displeased with Barry Bonds' new record. You think your day at work this morning is a little bit drearier, especially now that you have to face all your co-workers' uninformed opinions on steroids in sports and baseball and Barry Bonds' involvement therein. You think Bonds is making your life harder.

Sorry: nobody knows the trouble Pedro Gomez's seen.

Gomez, ESPN's official Barry Bonds pet/stalker/pepper-haired reporter, has been trailing Bonds for years, providing breathless updates on everything from Barry's hat size to Barry's reclining locker room chair to Barry's famous interview about how the media was hurting his family. It's been a long road.

But it's over now, and the question has to be asked: What will Pedro do? Some suggestions:

-- Cuddle up at Jeff Kent's house with a pint of Ben and Jerry's
-- Stalk Mark McGwire; failing that, stalk Sammy Sosa; failing that, stalk Brady Anderson
-- Play office politics ever so gently, take Steve Phillips' job
-- Host Who's Then?, ESPN's hard-hitting look at athletes who existed at any point in the past
-- Elope with Rachel Nichols, unleash terrifying horde of mutant sideline-reporting children on unassuming public
-- Schedule joint therapy sessions with Sal Paolantonio
-- Ignore lingering sense that too many precious breaths have been wasted on Barry Bonds, pick up that mic, and keep on plugging
-- Start a blog

Choose wisely, Pedro!

Previously on FanHouse:
Barry Bonds
Home Run Chase