JohanSolo: Okay, looks like I'm officially on the market. Begin.

WinBenSteinsBrenner: I will offer you young players that may or may not end up being good, but my young players who have a better chance of being good are OFF LIMITS

twins: no

TheoElDio: I will offer you Coco Crisp.

twins: no

TheoElDio: Fine. Coco Crisp, a bowl, a spoon, a jug of milk, and several banana slices.

twins: no

JohanSolo: Guys, you're going to have to step it up. Not to brag, but I'm the most high-value pitcher in the game. You're going to have to give up a substantial amount for the Twins to hand me over.

TheoElDio: you got it

a 300,000 seat stadium with a retractable dome and the ability to dismount and slowly hover around like you can do in starcraft

twins: that would be useful for when we ditch this god forsaken state for st. petersburg

but no

WinBenSteinsBrenner: the code you can type in to instantly get more money in simcity

twins: no that will summon the godzilla

TheoElDio: a series of steps made out of red blocks and a koopa troopa shell you can repeatedly kick against it to earn an infinite supply of coins and 1-ups

JohanSolo: You people clearly aren't taking this seriously. Maybe I'll just stay in Minnesota.

**OnlineHost** Delmon Young has been traded to the Twins!

**OnlineHost** DudeYerGettinADelmon has entered the chatroom.

DudeYerGettinADelmon: sup brah

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /duct-tapes pistol to baseball bat

JohanSolo: gih!

JohanSolo: Okay, here's the deal. The next team to make an offer and get me the hell out Minnesota wins.

TreyHillMix: $346 in urine-stained ones and fives

JohanSolo: Who are you?

TreyHillMix: trey hillman, new manager of the kansas city royals

JohanSolo: Uh...

/looks over

DudeYerGettinADelmon: /stuffs kerosene-soaked rag in pistol barrel

im bout ta give ya ass a tampa bay hanshake

JohanSolo: ummm

TreyHillMix: i will also give you my house

/wheels out Price Chopper grocery cart carrying partially assembled Fisher-Price tent

JohanSolo: SOLD