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The Dugout: What to Name Wrigley Field

Today's revelation that the Cubs' owners are open to selling off their stadium's name isn't unprecedented or terribly surprising, but still pretty sad. People will probably start pointing out that the name "Wrigley Field" is itself a commercial moniker that replaced "Cubs Field" in the 1920s, but...well, a lot of the fans go to Wrigley Field for its purist, traditional nature, and if they're going to start getting rid of that, the Cubs had better find some other reason for them to come. A World Series championship would probably work.

Tonight's Dugout, after the jump, offers some potential new names for the former Weeghman Park.

The Dugout

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: ALL RIGHT BUTTMUNCHES TIME TO THINK OF A NEW NAME FOR WRIGLEY FIELD

TheriotGhostbusters: Wait, I don't think that's up to us. The renaming of Wrigley Field is a long and deliberate process that consists of fielding offers from corporations, holding shareholder meetings, and being subject to a series of reviews from municipal and state governments. It is highly improbable that they would just let the players come up with a name.

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: STOP MAKING ME READ ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME EYE CANCER

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: NOW GIVE ME SOME IDEAS

TheriotGhostbusters:

"Not Comiskey Park"

lumberjacks_kerrywood:

"Ronnie Woo-Woo's Fever Dream"

grand_marquis:

"Compensation For The Lack of Seating at The Cubbie Bear"

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: NO IT HAS TO SOUND OLD-TIMEY

TheriotGhostbusters:

"ye olden base ball shed & saloon"

lumberjacks_kerrywood:

"electricity not yet harnessed field"

grand_marquis:

"epoch of mankind sports complex"

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: OK NEVERMIND, MAKE IT SIMPLE AND NONSPECIFIC

TheriotGhostbusters:

"Noun Field"

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: AGGH

OK MORE DESCRIPTIVE

grand_marquis:

"The Aggregate Result of

0.1. The unexplained, absurd nature of the existence of organisms, planets and matter itself

1. The existence of a planet with the necessary magnetic field, axial tilt, water in liquid form and constant energy source to sustain life

2. A "soup" of enzymes and acids on said planet which slowly evolved to progressively complex organisms

3. The gradual evolution of a subset of species into the present form of humanity

4. The development of humanity's social nature, stemming from the mother-child relationship and evolving into larger, more sophisticated systems of authority, and eventually government

5. Said governments conflicting with each other:
5a. over resources
5b. over religious differences
5c. simply to satisfy man's intrinsic thirst for conflict

6. Said conflict sparking a perpetuation of the division of mankind culturally and ideologically on a broad scale

7. A specific action in which a disenfranchised minority of European civilization elected to migrate to a land proteced by massive bodies of water

8. The secession of said minority into an independent "republic," built to foster a free market and individual rights

9. The flourishing of said republic with aid from factors such as
9a. a massive boundary of water, helping to shelter it from attack
9b. abundant resources
9c. an accelerated influx in population stemming from new generations of disenfranchized old-world citizens

10. Resultant economic freedom and success, satisfying citizens' base level needs and compelling them to pursue higher-level needs such as recreation

11. An acceleration in the development of sport -- a deviant form of mock warfare fostered to satisfy the need for conflict

12. The eventual creation of baseball -- itself an amalgamation of several established sports -- and the growing level of interest which necessitates baseball into an industry

13. The use of the profits from said industry to build stadiums; in this particular case, Wrigley Field

14. The renaming of said stadium to satisfy man's newly evolved need for change

Field"

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: YOU SON OF A BITCH

YOU JUST DECONSTRUCTED MY ENTIRE LIFE AND REASON FOR BEING

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WE ARE ALL NOTHING BUT BASTARD CHILDREN OF ABSURDITY AND HAPPENSTANCE, ALIVE AND THEN DEAD

TheriotGhostbusters: Good idea for a stadium, though. If people accept the absurd nature of their lives, they might just say "what's another drop in the bucket" and go to a Cubs game.

PiniellaOnTheDonkey: ACTUALLY I THINK THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN OUR SELLING POINT

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

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