UtilityFielder: Son, I've got some bad news.

TheFreshPrince: what, did you join a panamanian league over the winter and hit 51 home runs again to prove that my accomplishments of hitting 50 and being 23 years old are worthless?

UtilityFielder: well no, but now that you mention it 23 is far too old to get a headstart in the Panam-An leagues, so you might as well just hang it up

UtilityFielder: no, I've come here in my Hoveround today to tell you that you now owe 1.3 million dollars to the ORIX corporation.

TheFreshPrince: the folks that make the vacuum cleaners?

UtilityFielder: When your mother left me she was gonna take everything... the house in Florida, the house in Texas, my hat, my pants, all of my bonds... and I knew that if I wanted to keep those things I was gonna have to transfer them to loved ones, and then get them back when the smoke cleared

UtilityFielder: see I don't move too fast, and people started to notice, and now you and your grandparents are being sued for the value of said properties. But don't worry, I paid the balance on my pants.

TheFreshPrince: oh my god dad, 1.3 million dollars, do you know how many triple cheeseburgers that would buy

UtilityFielder: at the 1992 SRP: 653,266 and you'd have a little left over for like a cheeseburger and a half, or like a apple pie

UtilityFielder: Son, I know it's not fair, but this was "Fielder's Choice," and, well, you're out.

TheFreshPrince: get out of my house before I stab you to death with an enormous fork.

TheFreshPrince: oh here we go again with the rock and jock

every time you do something terrible to me you bring up the rock and jock softball challenge and how i got the last out against your team

TheFreshPrince: "hey son sorry i couldn't make it to graduation but do you remember when you got to play in the rock and jock game, that was pretty awesome huh, you got to meet bill bellamy."

TheFreshPrince: or "you hit 50 home runs, who cares, i hit 51, and you should be thanking me for letting you play in the rock and jock game, remember how funny it was when pamela anderson was the catcher, you got to meet jon stewart and big daddy cool diesel."

TheFreshPrince: "remember when diesel got a hit and had trouble running to first base and was lumbering around like an old lady, we thought it was because he was so big and had bad knees, but then it turned out he was just super lazy"

TheFreshPrince: "i bet big daddy cool diesel could've hit 52 home runs, it sure is disappointing that you were born as my son instead of him, oh well at least you lived to see him play."

TheFreshPrince: i don't care about meeting norman fell, dad, the ropers was a terrible show and you need to stop treating your loved ones like the dejected parents of a pissy 13 year old

UtilityFielder: What nerve you got! Tray Griffey Jr. would've KILLED to've been in a Rock N' Jock Softball Challenge! You woulda never been a first round draft pick had it not been for me.

UtilityFielder: They would've taken one look at you and said "who is this fat" and then they would've drafted Dan Cortese. Do you know who Dan Cortese is?

UtilityFielder: OF COURSE YOU DO, because of me! Don't you think Jaret Wright would've loved to have met Idalis?

TheFreshPrince: i don't even remember who that is, what was i, three years old

UtilityFielder: boy, when I find somebody else to get mad for me, I am going to be so mad!

**Online Host**
HisOwnGrandpa has entered the chatroom.

HisOwnGrandpa: Cec! We need your help! Big Sexy Kevin Nash has gone down to a groin pull and the Awayboys need a cleanup hitter! You in!?

UtilityFielder: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhsssshhh I don't knoooowww