The Dugout: What's Happening To Our Hood?

It's Official! Kris Benson signs with the Phillies! Good for him. Have you seen the Orioles motto for this season? "THIS IS BIRDLAND." That's a great way to get fans into the park. "We traded away our stars. COME SEE THE BIRD, THE ACTUAL ANIMAL THE BIRD"

With the migration of Anna Benson comes the next chapter in a Dugout story that began in the long long ago before the darkness came about how Anna would sleep with everyone on the team including the mascot if she ever caught her husband cheating. The only way this could get better for us is if she got traded to the Red Sox and got to deflower Wally the Green Monster. She would have to go into the police force and get choked by Dmitri Young to be more Dugout ready.

Anna Benson wears a jersey around her cleavage like we'd never expect and Kris Benson gets into a plane crash and misses the '08 season with a dilated brain in today's Dugout, after the jump.

The Dugout

	JungleLove_OriOriole: look at them in there, drinking their wine, eating their filet mignon... it makes me sick. What is that, candlelight? Ugh.
	MetLife: /puts out cigarette with heel what's she wearing
	JungleLove_OriOriole: big furry hat, low-cut red dress... really low-cut... like, there's a little boy sitting across from them who is going through the siege perilous because of it
	MetLife: mmm, the things i'd do for that woman
	JungleLove_OriOriole: I would do anything for that woman.
	MetLife: i would die for her. kill for her. trade five or six of my best minor leaguers for her.
	JungleLove_OriOriole: I would keep those minor leaguers in stasis for ten years and then right before they started being good I would trade them back to you for her.
	MetLife: i would let her fall to pieces and give her millions of dollars to do it
	JungleLove_OriOriole: I'd wait until she was completely broken and useless and THEN give her millions of dollars.
	MetLife: i would write a series of asinine songs about her
	JungleLove_OriOriole: If she asked me to dance to YMCA I would do it. I don't care how many times!
	MetLife: ugh, did you know her husband's name is "kristen"
	JungleLove_OriOriole: yeah, did you know his middle name is "Mary?"
	MetLife: quiet, here they come
	Online Host JungleLove_OriOriole and MetLife have ducked behind some bushes.
	RobertGuillaume: Thank you for a wonderful dinner, baby, you really know how to treat a woman. So tell me /runs finger down chest ...what else does Philadelphia have to offer?
	phillie_phanatic: /sticks out party favor tongue /rubs belly
	RobertGuillaume: cheesesteaks you say
	phillie_phanatic: /rubs bald man's head
	RobertGuillaume: benjamin franklin you say
	phillie_phanatic: /thrusts pelvis /high-fives /thrusts pelvis
	RobertGuillaume: boyz II men you say
	MetLife: HEY! HEY BITCH
	JungleLove_OriOriole: YOU BROKE A PROMISE, WE DON'T FORGET /hurls brick through restaurant window
	RobertGuillaume: eeek!
	MetLife: HA HAAA THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU STOP STITCHIN' NOW WHAT
	JungleLove_OriOriole: cheese it!
	Online Host JungleLove_OriOriole and MetLife have taken off into the night.
	phillie_phanatic: /gives chase on ATV
	RobertGuillaume: Someone help! Help me! /sobs