The Dugout: Leave Him Alone Right Now!

Leave Rick Ankiel alone!

LEAVE HIM ALOWWNNNN

But seriously, I don't think Rick Ankiel is a bad guy. The argument of "HGH wasn't illegal when _____ was using it" is a flawed one, because "steroids" in so many words have been illegal for decades. If it looks like a steroid and walks like a steroid, you know? If somebody comes up to you and says "this pill/powder makes you bigger and better at sports" you should probably not take it unless you are okay with doing steroids.

That being said, that guy sure did mess up a great story, didn't he? TALES FROM THE INTERNET, after the jump.

The Dugout

	LaRussasOnFire: How dare anyone out there make fun of Rick Ankiel after all he has been through!
	LaRussasOnFire: He lost his control, threw five wild pitches in an inning. He had season-ending surgery!
	LaRussasOnFire: He turned out to be a great power hitter, and now he's going through a steroid battle. All you people care about is..... readers and making money off of him. HE'S A HYUMAN wahh wahh
	LaRussasOnFire: What you don't realize is that Rick is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.
	LaRussasOnFire: He's not going to be able to perform this season. If you want steroids why don't we trade him to Baltimore for Melvin Mora because all you people want is MORA, MORA-MORA MORA MORA!!!!!
	LaRussasOnFire: LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky he even played for the Cardinals you BASTARDS! LEAVE RICK ANKIEL ALONE!.....Please.
	LaRussasOnFire: Eamonn Brennan talked about responsibility on Fanhouse and said if Rick used HGH when it was legal it still messes up his comeback story no matter what. Speaking of responsibility, when is it responsible to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time!
	LaRussasOnFire: Leave Rick Alone Please.... ! Leave Rick Ankiel alone!...right now!....I mean it.! Anyone that has a problem with him you deal with me, because he is not well right now. LEAVE HIM ALONE!
	Online Host Elsewhere on The Internet
	AnyGivenZonda: I'm sorry, Derek Jeter just isn't a good defensive shortstop no matter how many times he jumps into the stands. Statistically he ranks in the bottom half of the league, easy, but the Yankees offense makes up for whatever they'd lose in defense at short.
	MrTInASombrero: no more jibba jabba they don't give gold gloves to poor fielders, fool
	AnyGivenZonda: Please, baseball awards are like the Oscars, if it reflects poorly on the academy to omit someone like Jeter they aren't going to omit him... and besides, he's the captain of New York, more people are watching him and giving him credit for theatrics and spirit.
	AnyGivenZonda: If you time-traveled Rabbit Maranville into the 2008 New York Yankees lineup they'd never lose a ball game.
	MrTInASombrero: I don't know nothin' bout no Rabbit Marna-ville. Stay in school!
	Online Host LemonParty has signed onto the chatroom.
	MrTInASombrero: uh oh
	AnyGivenZonda: eesh, yeah, I don't want to be here when we find out what that's all about
	MrTInASombrero: my prediction; pain
	Online Host AnyGivenZonda and MrTInASombrero have left the chatroom.
	LemonParty: hey guys, what's going on in this- guys?
	LemonParty: awww crap why does this always happen to me
	2Girls1Cap: no idea, man
	2Girls1Cap: wanna chat press 6969696
	Online Host MrTInASombrero has entered the chatroom.
	MrTInASombrero: sorry, I forgot to eat everybody's balls

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

2-24-2008 @ 3:19AM

Feruw said...

Thank you for keeping Chet Lemon relevant.

Now how will you work goatse into the next edition of the dugout

2-24-2008 @ 4:10AM

The Dude said...

HGH is not a steroid, their two different things. You "media" guys(ESPN included)should actually learn about the stuff before give out erroneous information.

2-24-2008 @ 3:36PM

Duck said...

Congratulations! You guys are "media guys!!"

2-24-2008 @ 11:21AM

Doctor Lingerie said...

Great comment by The Dude, it's a little known fact that 61% of Americans get their news from the Dugout. You're SO media.

2-24-2008 @ 11:57AM

Doctor Lingerie-You were probably being a smartass, so I'll clarify my comment. I was referring to the fact that the sports media talks about steroids and HGN like their interchangeable. But they're two different things and from what I've read. HGH doesn't have any preformance enhancing effects.

2-24-2008 @ 11:58AM

B said...

You're right, The Dude, people don't take HGH for the performance enhancing effects. They take it because it tastes good!

2-24-2008 @ 4:01PM

Mike said...

B = BEST!!!!!11

Fornelli said...

HGH helps the body heal faster from the little injuries baseball players pick up during the year, so while it doesn't enhance their ability to hit a baseball, it does allow them the ability to play.

At least that's what I've been told by the media.

2-24-2008 @ 10:36PM

Andrew said...

They give HGH to astronauts for prolonged Zero-G missions. They also give speed to pilots on long bombing runs and probably half of the kids in America are on some drug. Drugs run the world.

/brb, rollin' a joint

2-25-2008 @ 10:48PM

VelvetBagel said...

But what about the INTANGIBLES?!? He's the Captain! He knows what's best for the team! What's best for the team is staying at short, making incredible acrobatic plays out of balls that even a mediocre shortstop could make in his sleep, while the best defensive shortstop in the game has to move to third!

INTANGIBLES!!!