Don't Forget to Rub Your Kangaroo Testicles

Baseball players have always been a very superstitious bunch. Whether it's simple things like Wade Boggs eating fried chicken before every game, Turk Wendell jumping over the baselines, or a refusal to change a jock strap during a win streak: baseball players look for anything that might bring them good luck.

This however, this isn't something I ever thought I'd read.

Apparently a pair of taxidermied kangaroo testicles is regarded as a good-luck charm by Aussies, like a rabbit's foot (or like me rubbing my bust of Elvis that I bought one late night many years ago at a cheap gift shop on the Canada side of Niagara Falls).

So Braves reliever Phil Stockman, a good bloke if I've ever met one, gave starting pitchers Tim Hudson and Mike Hampton each a pair of kangaroo testicles on a key chain. And told them to rub them before each start.

Hudson's "charm" was hanging in his locker last I checked.

What exactly am I supposed to say after reading that? There's no mention in the article of where Mike Hampton is keeping his lucky kangaroo balls, but if I had to put money on it, I'd say they're on the disabled list. (Zing!)

Also, instead of hanging your kangaroo balls in your locker, wouldn't it make more sense to keep them in a pouch? Get it? A pouch. Kangaroo balls. I'll be here all season, folks.

(Thanks, I think, to Walkoff Walk) Sorry, No Photos

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

2-26-2008 @ 2:41PM

Panger said...

Any bets on how long before PETA issues a statement?

2-26-2008 @ 7:45PM

Mr.G said...

I doubt if the first owner would consider his "balls" lucky, if they were hanging on a keychain.

2-27-2008 @ 9:06AM

chris said...

So that's what happened to my Brother-in-law's testicles?! I knew my S-I-L was a ball breaker but this is outrageous!

2-28-2008 @ 6:27AM

L. said...

Barbaric! I say take those players' nuts and I'll wear THEM on a keychain.

Why is it that so many people think absolutely nothing of exploiting non-human beings for their own benefit, instead of treating them with the respect they deserve?

2-28-2008 @ 7:14AM

gary said...

I had a gold cobra head pendant made to wear on a chain. Living in Thailand i have accepted the Budhists beliefs about respecting all life including animals. I cosider it my good luck charm and a sign of respect for the Budhist beliefs. Last month i had a king cobra strike at me and hit the bag i was carrying. I didn't know he was there and apparently got to close and startled him. Last week while making coffee one morning i was bitten on the hand by a small cobra. Luckily it was a dry bite and no poison was injected. I really believe Budha is watching over me. I consider the charm as a sign of honor for Budha and for all the animals living in the wild, who are just trying to survive as we take all th land from them.

2-28-2008 @ 8:13AM

James said...

#5...you are an idiot. Maybe the snake won't miss next time.

2-28-2008 @ 8:25AM

James
The snake didn't miss this time. We have 40,000 people die a year from snake bite here because if your an hour away from treatment it is too late. Wy do you feel i am an idiot.I am a retired soldier and am tired of killing. War never resolved anything. I like to see the beauty of nature in all things. I have sat with bengal tigers and held a ten foot long king cobra, without holding its head.The Budhists teach it is possible to live in harmony with all things. These are the friendliest people i have met anywhere and i have learned much from them. If you have an open mind learning is a continuous process. Do you feel it is necessary to sput hateful remarks because you have nothing intelligent to say. When you have walked in my shoes then you can understand.

2-28-2008 @ 5:28PM

Rollando said...

Kangaroo testicles for good luck? Oh brother!!! If it does bring good luck, why not just train the kangaroos to play ball. That way the owners of the major league teams can hires the kangaroos instead of people. It be a lot cheaper.

2-28-2008 @ 11:10AM

Jeri said...

No Gary , your not an idiot , you've been trained to honor the respect of the animals around you . I know where your coming from cause my son is still in the Military and he's been in there for 12 yrs so far (Marines) , He's been seen playing with tarantulas , snakes , etc. I told him thats just fine with me as long as he doesn't bring them home with him . He's been known to eat raw rabbits for food to stay alive when he's in no-man's-land without food available . These Military people are trained to eat whats available . I can't stand the thought of eating a raw rabbit but if thats what it takes to stay alive go for it . I'll just make sure I bring along a peanut butter sandwich instead of eating raw meat .

2-28-2008 @ 11:00AM

pk said...

when i was a kid, we carried a rabbit's foot. i don't think they plucked them off live rabbits. perhaps the testicles are the result of neutering. i'm sure they're not hunting kangaroos for their balls. geez.

2-28-2008 @ 11:45AM

laineyb said...

4. Barbaric! I say take those players' nuts and I'll wear THEM on a keychain.

Why is it that so many people think absolutely nothing of exploiting non-human beings for their own benefit, instead of treating them with the respect they deserve?
____
Doubt seriously that they killed the kangaroo just for that small part. Kangaroo meat is eaten and the hides are used. It is no different than a beef steak. Get a grip.

2-28-2008 @ 11:48AM

web said...

I thought baseball players got their luck from spanking their teamates butts, and scratching their crotches. Baseball is a homos game.

2-28-2008 @ 12:02PM

T.K. said...

PETA ; People Eating Tasty Animals

2-28-2008 @ 12:07PM

jm said...

I like to lick my boyfriends balls for good luck, especially when they are all sweaty and hanging low.

2-28-2008 @ 12:10PM

Ricky whitten said...

I wonder if SNAKE BALLS would work?

2-28-2008 @ 12:57PM

BAMA said...

RUN JOEY RUN!

2-28-2008 @ 12:41PM

Greg said...

#6, I'd use the word "idiot" lightly in my vocabulary if I were you.

2-28-2008 @ 1:23PM

carolynbenjamin said...

#14, you are disgusting. and i bet you're not a girl either.

2-28-2008 @ 1:35PM

buzz lightyear said...

It is rediculous to use a taliman or charm. however, IF you believe in "Something" and it makes you a better player, and it does not hurt anyone, then what-the-HEY. Let em use it. Joey didn't die just for that. They likely used the meat and skin too. Maybe even Gall Bladder for some Chinese remedy.