The Mets are a great team, don't get me wrong. I'm not even the type to hold that... that
thing they did in September against them. It could happen to anybody. As an Orioles fan I'm used to seeing stuff like that at the beginning of the season instead of the end, but hey, what are you gonna do.
The Mets have great pitching, a great infield, and a loose pile of body parts and miscellanea scattered across the outfield.
Here's my plan to overcome injuries and past failures this season: WRITE AN EPIC VICTORY SONG RIGHT NOW. Don't wait until May when you're in first place, write it right now. Get David Wright to wear his had sideways or put on the Shufflin' Crew headband and do the cabbage patch in the background while Jose Reyes raps about how they're just "having fun to be the best." It's still Our Team but not necessarily Our Time. We need some Baseball Boogie-quality rip rap rippity doo to put the Dumptyesque Mets Outfield back together again.
That, or like a whole thing of HGH. After the jump, Our Team (Time not specified).
The Dugout
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**Online Host**
A Pop Fly is floating into the outfield.
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BeltranAway: /runs straight back to catch pop fly
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**Online Host**
The wind has blown the Pop Fly slightly to the left. |
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BeltranAway: /continues running straight back
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BeltranAway: /stops at wall
SOMEBODY GRAB THAT
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GrandmaMoises: what, what happened, you were running for it
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BeltranAway: MY QUADRICEPS MUSCLES ONLY ALLOW ME TO RUN IN A STRAIGHT LINE, IF I TRY TO TURN AROUND AND CATCH THE BALL I'M GOING TO COLLAPSE AND DIE
ALL I CAN DO IS THIS
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BeltranAway: /runs in place against wall like he's playing Call of Duty and has no idea how to play Call of Duty
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GrandmaMoises: well what do you expect me to do, I've been lying on the ground holding my crotch for the last six games
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BeltranAway: Oh, I forgot, you're "Man Getting Hit By Football." RYAN, RYAN CAN YOU CATCH THE POP FLY |
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: who said that
where am i
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: /eats outfield grass
nom nom nom
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BeltranAway: what's going on with him |
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GrandmaMoises: he's got a concussion from that outfield collision last week, his ducks are completely out of the row |
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BeltranAway: does having a concussion make you act retarded
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GrandmaMoises: he was a Washington National, give him a break
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GrandmaMoises: haha and his name is "Church" and one time he said that the Jews are going to burn in Hell because they haven't accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior
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BeltranAway: RYAN CAN YOU HEAR ME
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: /stares blankly, tips over
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BeltranAway: RYAN, I'M ON A RAIL AND MOISES ALOU HAS NO MORE DICK AND IS SEVENTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, I KNOW YOUR BRAIN IS DAMAGED BUT YOU'RE OUR ONLY CHANCE TO CATCH THIS BALL
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: nommm
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BeltranAway: JUST HOLD UP YOUR GLOVE AND WE'RE GONNA BLOW UPWARD AS HARD AS WE CAN AND TRY TO GET THE BALL OVER THERE TO YOU BEFORE IT LANDS
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BeltranAway: JUST HOLD UP THAT ARM, BUDDY
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: /holds up glove
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BeltranAway: YES
COME ON BABY COME ON, GET IN THERE
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**Online Host**
The Pop Fly has fallen into Ryan Church's glove. |
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BeltranAway: YES |
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**Online Host**
The Pop Fly has rolled out of Ryan Church's glove. |
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LordsOfTheRyanChurch: home run !!! |
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MetLife: ughhhh
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Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-10-2008 @ 5:31AM
KingGreat said...
If Moises could get over his groin injury long enough to urinate on Church's glove (instead of his own rugged man-hands), the leather would've stiffened up enough to keep the ball in. As usual, the Mets are dumb and never plan ahead.
Reply
3-10-2008 @ 11:17AM
CeriWolf said...
I'll have you know I nearly tossed up my breakfast and nearly had cold ass lemonade gush out from my nose. You should pat yourself on the back.
Reply
3-10-2008 @ 11:55AM
IMoW said...
Doesn't matter how bad the outfield is if Jose and Wright as swinging lumber. As a Braves fan, let me just say that I hope Billy Wagner completely breaks Jose Reyes' spirit... he probably won't though, and Jose will probably break the ATL.
http://properbloggery.com/2008/03/07/mets-hate-jose-reyes/
Reply
3-10-2008 @ 11:57PM
BlackOps said...
Sign Barry Bonds.
Reply
3-13-2008 @ 11:12AM
Ragingape said...
Beltran will make a comeback. That crash was one of the most horrific sports injuries I have ever seen but he will be dedicated.
Nice work although it doesn't reflect how terrible the defense can get away with being when Santana is on the mound.
Reply