AndHedges: Philadelphia. /takes a deep breath

You know, I used to really hate these guys.

ThatsSoTaguchi: Me too, but the Phils are good, I'm happy to be a part of the team.

Well, I wouldn't say "good" good. They're kinda good. Like the Foo Fighters.

ThatsSoTaguchi: A little. But the Phillies are giving me a shot and I'm going to play my hardest and make them proud. I think this year will be career-defining for me.

ThatsSoTaguchi: probably in real life but I'm on the Internet, I can use spell and grammar checks. Mixing up my Rs and Ls would be too steleotypical.

ThatsSoTaguchi: (and yes I did it on purpose that time)

AndHedges: Why, that's downright progressive.

LidgeOnTheRiverKwai: /rocks silently back and forth on ground
/pulls out own hair

AndHedges: Jeez, what's your problem?

ThatsSoTaguchi: That's Lidge. Ever since Pujols hit that homerun in the 2005 NLCS he just hasn't been the same. I heard the Phillies brought him over just to keep him from eating his own feces.

AndHedges: Eesh.

That was some home run. I hear some boy in Burundi finally caught it out in the Veldt a couple of days ago.

LidgeOnTheRiverKwai: did you hear DID YOU HEAR did you hear

pujols blew out his elbow HE BLEW OUT HIS ELBOW

AndHedges: That's good, right? You won't have to pitch against him this season.

LidgeOnTheRiverKwai: WRONG wrong wrong wrONG

he reported to camp, he's not changing his routine, you can't stop him, that's it man, lights out man, lights out

ThatsSoTaguchi: Maybe that's our theme for this year: fear. We're all motivated by fear.

ThatsSoTaguchi: I'm afraid that if I don't make a name for myself this year I might not have another shot and will have to return home to Japan shamed, and dishonored. I've got a little boy to worry about.

AndHedges: I'm afraid that no matter what I do, my performance will be overshadowed by my wife.

ThatsSoTaguchi: Oh man, YOUR WIFE, I was gonna say

AndHedges: Yeah. And I'm afraid she's sleeping with the mascot.

ThatsSoTaguchi: The guy in the suit?

AndHedges: No, the actual Phillie Phanatic.

ThatsSoTaguchi: Does the Phillie Phanatic even have genitals? How could she be sleeping with the Phillie Phanatic?

AndHedges: Brother, you've got no idea the kinds of things my wife has slept with.

LidgeOnTheRiverKwai: i'm afraid that i just saw albert pujols enter the chatroom and he's going to tear off my arm and throw it out of minute maid park overhand

PujolJunkie: e'xcuse me, do joo know if e'cardinals are having e'chatroom today, the spring training chatroom days are all mixed up

LidgeOnTheRiverKwai: AAAAH

AAAAH

AAAAH

AAAAH

AAAAAH

AAAAAAH

phillie_phanatic: /pats Kris Benson on the back

/thrusts hips
/motions grandiosely to crotch

AndHedges: aw

aw

ThatsSoTaguchi: /looks around

Phillies