A couple of warnings and advisories about today's Spring Training Dugout:
- It does not feature Bill Pecota
- It's about the Twins, but cannot possibly be about every avenue of Twins fandom and lore so if we didn't get to your favorite aspect of the team this time around don't worry, we've got like 600 days left in the season and only 400 of those can be about the Yankees
- Today's Dugout features adult language, largely obscured by shift-8, but if you're reading these outloud to your kid or whatever please consider reading to them from Zubazpants.com
A couple of weeks ago our very own "Mullet" (Dugout SN: MulletOver) took a break from being an ironic memory of times passed to report about
Carl Crawford having beef with Delmon Young and saying word from across the country. Today's Dugout (after the jump ((don't hurt yourself)) ) takes place just as Carl Crawford has reported to his spring training, but before Delmon Young has reported to his.
Suspension of disbelief, people.
The Dugout
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: /slowly feeds T.C. Bear into woodchipper
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Crawfish: sup son
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: its my boy corl
ay corl how florida doin, they still got that gatorland
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Crawfish: It was nice to come to spring training without having to deal with the annoyances that always seem to surround you and Elijah Dukes.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: /stares |
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Crawfish: I don't know why Elijah is always killing dogs. It's like, why even buy a dog if you're just going to kill it? God has some strange plans for his prophets.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: hole up
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**Online Host**
DudeYerGettinADelmon has gone outside and thrown a bat as far as he can.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: boom bitch
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Crawfish: You're in Minnesota, I'm in Florida. You're crazy if you think you can throw a bat 1300 miles.
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**Online Host**
Somewhere in Georgia, Chipper Jones has been struck with a flying bat.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: aw look at the brave man waitin till i in minnesota to say what he really feel
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: if i got good reception in dank ass minnesota i would tex you a picture of a gun so fast yo muthaf***in phone would exploe
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Crawfish: I don't want to talk to you at all. If you called me, I would have nothing to say.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: pop off
if my brotha ain have die beetis we'd smoke a gummy bong an be at cha muf***in doe step
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: n***a do you undastand the paradise i play in now |
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Crawfish: What paradise? You play with a bunch of white boys in the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: ya gat dam right i play in at huh-huh-huh metradomez, in they outfield they got got trash bags son, trash bags
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: when i finish a package a pecan swirls i just throw that rappin into tha crowd
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: an Da TwInZ ain just a bunch a white boys, me an denard span done some f***ed up shit to some moose
that boy got the widest junk you eva seen cuz, slike /holds out arms
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: an frank liriano comin back baby, expeck him n***a expeck him like you expeck jesus to come back
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Crawfish: Have fun playing second fiddle to Joe Mauer's sideburns.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: that boy get more p***y than a terlet seat
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: i ain gay but if i was which i aint i would bus you upside yo mof***in dome fa suggestin he ain a beautiful man
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Crawfish: okay well while you're admiring his bone structure I'll be in Adventure Island getting my Aruba Tuba on.
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: you know aruba tuba is my favorite
that's it
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: you dont think i can getcha stank ass in florida, watch this
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: /feeds computer monitor into woodchipper
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: yay YAY gotcha where ya live ya lil bitch
what now
what now
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: hello |
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
3-13-2008 @ 10:09PM
bobZ said...
this blog is a fuggin joke and it should be pulled from the website
Reply
3-13-2008 @ 4:14PM
Ragingape said...
And with Carl Crawford became the best straightman in the Dugout. Kudos.
Reply
3-13-2008 @ 10:51PM
CeriWolf said...
**Online Host**
Somewhere in Georgia, Chipper Jones has been struck with a flying bat.
Best part.
Reply
3-14-2008 @ 12:17AM
mugsy2099 said...
huh huh huh
Reply
3-14-2008 @ 1:00AM
mightymo said...
this one was pretty lame, but i'd be lying if i told you i didn't laugh out loud a couple times.
Reply
3-14-2008 @ 2:45PM
BIGT468 said...
" in they outfield they got got trash bags son, trash bags "
ROFLMAO ! ! ! ! !
Reply
3-15-2008 @ 1:21AM
Five Tools Playa said...
b you should probably tell Delmon Young that if he doesn't stop sayin so many tiny buttholes his breath is gonna staaaaaaank
and da hotdawg flava'd waaaaaataaaa
Seriously, good deal. Not really a lot else to say about the Twins, so I'm glad somethin' came down the pipe for Spr Du
Reply
3-16-2008 @ 12:35PM
Cold, with two tees said...
I was under the impression that it was T.C. the Bear, as in his last name wasn't his suborder.
Anyways, I look forward to mishaps of Delmon Young in the Midwestern dump of a paradise we call MPLS.
Also: lol
Reply