**Online Host**
MarkakisRedVelvet has entered the chatroom!

MarkakisRedVelvet: Hey guys, sorry I'm late, I would've driven a car to the stadium but Baltimore only gives me enough money to finance and maintain a 10-speed bike. Do you know when we're supposed to-

MarkakisRedVelvet: uh /looks around

who are you guys

SerenityNow: Howdy roomie! I'm Mike Costanzo, and I'm just happy to be here!

SerenityNow: Kinda sorta! I won a raffle! They charged one dollar per ticket, but if you paid TEN dollars they'd give you the length of your arm in tickets! That deal is the money melon, and here I am!

MarkakisRedVelvet: That's cool. Tell me a little about yourself.

SerenityNow: Biography & Career Highlights: There is no biography information available for this player. Pros! Has great work ethic! Cons! Looks like this!

MarkakisRedVelvet: and, uh, who is your friend

SerenityNow: I have no idea! ^_^

Chris!: Hi, my name is Chris! But you can call me Chris! In two seasons I have one career extra base hit!

MarkakisRedVelvet: I assume you guys are here for the rebuilding. Uh, you should get your bearings pretty quickly, it only took me a year to go from promising young rookie to "good player desperately needed elsewhere." Just be careful out there and make sure to wear non-slip shoes.

PacmanJones: ay, how many games i gotta play before i can go somewhere else

MarkakisRedVelvet: oh wow, you can actually play baseball? Well, I'd say to give them fifty or sixty quality games and you'll end up on the ass end of the Brewers or something. Just don't say you'll "play well eventually" or they'll keep you forever.

MarkakisRedVelvet: Boston was going to send us Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Johnny Damon, Hanley Ramirez, and like three different Papelbons for Daniel Cabrera, but Cabrera told Peter Angelos he'd "slept well the night before" and Angelos called off the deal.

PacmanJones: /makes it rain

MarkakisRedVelvet: Oh, you're Native American. That works.

YanCanPitch: daaaaah where can i put my pants

MarkakisRedVelvet: We're going to make this work. We're going to make this work. We're going to make this work. I can hit 100 homeruns and steal 200 bases, right? All I have to do is learn how to pitch. That's the ticket.

MarkakisRedVelvet: Hey, didn't we get a bunch of pitchers in that Tejada trade? Whatever happened to those guys?

**Online Host**
That night, in the suburban wilderness...

PattonTheBottom: /is shot with a rifle

**Online Host**
PattonTheBottom has been badly damaged and will miss the entire season.

PattonTheBottom: -XTTT-

EzzTTAT?

BeyondTheMatt: BAD PTCHR.

PattonTheBottom: -zzGGNNT-

-TDDT-

BeyondTheMatt: BAD PTCHR.

BAD PTCHR.