The Dugout: Hawk and Wimpy

WHEEEEEE

This week, God decided to pull off the most illogical series of events since the time he put Fabio on a roller coaster in Virginia and had him be the only person on the ride to get hit in the face by a bird. In case you haven't heard, the Orioles won two games!

I'm just kidding (Go O's!). At Fenway Park, a 13 year old girl named Alexa Rodriguez was attacked by a hawk. It's really her fault, though, because the hawk clearly asked for her to "put it on the boaaaaard, e-yes!" Or perhaps she was holding a can of corn. Whatever happened, it was weird, and just another one of those times when the fates lean down from mythology to whisper, "here you go" to The Dugout.

Find out where the hawk came from (and why it attacked) after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Welcome to the Baseball in Japan Chatroom!
	FranconaBun: All right, here, try this. /holds up chopsticks
	KingOfPap: ew what is it
	FranconaBun: "rice"
	KingOfPap: whats innit
	FranconaBun: Nothing is in it, the entire thing is rice.
	KingOfPap: do they have frenchfries with katchup
	FranconaBun: Just try it, you don't want to come back from Japan having only eaten french fries and chicken wings. Try it once and if you don't like it I won't make you eat it.
	KingOfPap: /bites off 1/10th of one grain of rice blurg /empties entire contents of mouth into napkin /wipes tongue with napkin
	FranconaBun: sigh Why can't you be more like Manny? Look at him! He's not just eating rice, he's eating grasshopper stewed in sweetened soy, and he LOVES it! Isn't that right, Manny?
	MannyTheTorpedoes: manny being inago no tsukudani
	FranconaBun: uh... Manny? What's that perched behind you?
	MannyTheTorpedoes: is a mogwhy
	Hawk: screeee
	FranconaBun: Are you sure? Because it looks like a deadly hawk.
	MannyTheTorpedoes: no, is a mogwhy, i bought it from a ol man in chinatown of japan he toll me three rules number one dont kill a mogwhy numbers two and three i forgot
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ok papelbom? pay attenchun to these rules we dont want gremlings!!
	KingOfPap: eep ok !! dont eat em after midnite!
	MannyTheTorpedoes: o rite rule number two!
	FranconaBun: Dammit Manny when I send you out for souvenirs I don't want you to come back with wild beasts. Why couldn't you've just bought a keychain like Jonathan?
	KingOfPap: its got karopee the frog on it we are bes frens
	MannyTheTorpedoes: /pours water all over hawk don worry coach i take good care of he
	Online Host Later, at Fenway Park
	MannyTheTorpedoes: thank you for likin my hair i like my hair to /writes "manny" on baseball nex plz
	ZefronFan13: omg mAnNy how r u
	MannyTheTorpedoes: p. good who do you want a annograph for
	ZefronFan13: idk my bff jill
	MannyTheTorpedoes: k /writes "jill manny" on baseball
	ZefronFan13: i like ur pet brd
	MannyTheTorpedoes: he is mogwhy an he sing a beautiful song
	Hawk: screeee
	MannyTheTorpedoes: nex plz
	AlexaRanking: AYCUSE ME COUL JOO SIGN A AUTOGRAPH FOR ME I AM A THIRTEEN YEAR OLT GIRL
	MannyTheTorpedoes: shoor what is your nay
	AlexaRanking: ALEXA RODRIGUEZ SERIOUSLY
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ok but plz stop shouting is scaring the mogwhy
	Hawk: SCREEEE SCREEEE SCREEEEEEEEE /swoops, attacks
	AlexaRanking: AHHHH AAHHHH
	Hawk: RAAAAA /uses deadly talons
	AlexaRanking: HELP SOMEONE HELP ME
	MannyTheTorpedoes: /writes "girl derek jeter" on baseball nex plz

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

4-06-2008 @ 12:38AM

TheWeave said...

Too bad this didn't happen at a White Sox game if only for a WordUpThome appearance.

4-07-2008 @ 9:20PM

Five Tools Playa said...

I laughed at this one harder than i have laughed at anything in at least 9000 years. I needed that. Thanks B. It really says a lot that you can still have Manny surprise me. I was in no way expecting "is a mogwhy"