The Dugout: The Family's Stone

Kyle Farnsworth getting suspended for ANYTHING is Dugout-worthy news, much less getting suspended for throwing a fastball at Manny Ramirez's head. I don't know if he deserved the three-game suspension. I also don't know if he purposefully pitched at Manny's head, but honestly a part of me would be pretty disappointed if he didn't. We came up with your nickname before your announce team did, you might as well do something for our benefit every now and then. He should've thrown the ball at Manny's head, and while Manny was reacting Kyle should've ran up and tried to punch him.

Today's Dugout is the undoubtedly true story of what happened before, during, and after the at-bat. Inside this Dugout you will hopefully find a snippet of dialogue (unfortunately) lacking in misplaced curse words but still ridiculous and unnecessary enough to replace "go rerish" as the thing we're most remembered for. I don't want to be solely remembered as the "go rerish" guy. I mean, I didn't even come up with that. Some oriental guy did!

hold onto your butts; Big Country vs. Manny, after the jump.

The Dugout

	Online Host Moments before...
	GirardiAndCola: awright Kyle, Ramirez is up next. He's already hit two bombs off of us today. You know what to do.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: no doubt jiggerati, 1000% guapo kyle farnsworth has set into motion a series of events what leave manny faces to clean up after a rambunctious cat an mouse team
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: after surveyen the distruction manny will be left to remark "manny being mammy" all who read about it later will be left plesantly humort
	GirardiAndCola: No no no. I mean... you know what to do... /makes darting eye motions
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: you want i should stick him in the latino gangster way not in the sir mixed a lot way
	GirardiAndCola: Just... sigh just throw the ball at his head please.
	Online Host During the at-bat...
	MannyTheTorpedoes: helo fren
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: heads up pumpkenhead your ass is about to get farnswortht /readies pitch
	MannyTheTorpedoes: ok tiem for beisbol /readies bat
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /throws wild pitch
	Online Host pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has thrown a perfect strike down the middle of the plate, the count is 0-1.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wait
	MannyTheTorpedoes: gray pitch kile
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hold onto your toolbrush handy manny the bull of the woods is bout to bury your bones neath the yankees stadium /readies pitch
	MannyTheTorpedoes: /readies bat
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /throws as hard as he can
	Online Host pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has thrown an offspeed pitch that catches the corner beautifully, the count is 0-2.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: what the shit
	MannyTheTorpedoes: two gray pitches
	Online Host GirardiAndCola has visited the mound.
	GirardiAndCola: Kyle, what the hell is going on, what're you doing?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: putten this drednaught away with a hammer blow
	GirardiAndCola: Just... just try this: try throwing a ball as fast as you can, right down the middle. Okay?
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: whatever you spray retardi
	Online Host GirardiAndCola has left the mound.
	MannyTheTorpedoes: /readies bat
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /takes a deep breath
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: time to tear up broadway jonathan larson style with a 525,600 mile per hour fast ball /adjusts glasses
	MannyTheTorpedoes: hurry up plea cartoons is on
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /hurls with pinpoint accuracy
	Online Host pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has thrown the ball behind MannyTheTorpedoes' head.
	MannyTheTorpedoes: hey wha happen
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: checked mate
	Online Host 3 days later, while on suspension...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: stone how do you watch this babies shit it makes me want to crap my thick white britches
	st0n3_F4rnsw0rth: yay oobi oobi oobi oobi
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: its just a han tellen you to do stuff its like a man wanted a puppit show but had no money for puppits
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: watch this /talks with hand "dont do some drugs!" !
	st0n3_F4rnsw0rth: yaaay daddy is oobi
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hey stone you wanna play "wished bone"
	st0n3_F4rnsw0rth: wishbone !!! les play wishbone
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: okay you be wishbone /opens book /throws opened book as hard as he can at child
	Online Host pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has thrown the book a foot over the child's head. The book has landed neatly on the bookcase.
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: man i gotta get better at baseball

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

4-20-2008 @ 1:08AM

Jade said...

The minute I saw Farnsworth's pitch headed towards Manny's head, I'm thinking, "This had damn well better show up in the Dugout."

Thanks much for not disappointing me, B. :D

4-20-2008 @ 11:56AM

Ash said...

Way to keep MannyTheTorpedo on his toes!
All is fair in love and baseball as long as no one gets hurt!

Go Yankees!

4-20-2008 @ 10:52AM

petejayhawk said...

rerish nooooo

4-20-2008 @ 2:08PM

steph said...

loved it. kinda sad that there was no dugout for the 22 inning padres-rockies game though.

4-20-2008 @ 2:32PM

drthunder said...

"putten this drednaught away with a hammer blow"

I plan to say this at least once a day for the rest of my life

4-20-2008 @ 9:25PM

Ryan said...

I don't want to be all gushy fanboi, but

"pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: hold onto your toolbrush handy manny the bull of the woods is bout to bury your bones neath the yankees stadium"

yes.

4-25-2008 @ 3:48AM

Liza said...

"pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: time to tear up broadway jonathan larson style with a 525,600 mile per hour fast ball"

The best part is that I was watching Rent on Broadway when he got suspended and saw the headline about it on a Times Square news ticker soon thereafter. Win.