On Deck: Who Needs A-Rod?

On Deck is FanHouse's look at the day's most intriguing baseball matchups

Chicago White Sox (11-9) vs. New York Yankees (12-10) - 8:11PM Est.

Any minute now, Hank Steinbrenner is going to be on a New York radio station demanding that Brian Cashman trade Alex Rodriguez as soon as possible, because "that overpaid bastard has been holding us back! Anybody that would keep him on their team is an idiot! Joba Chamberlain should be playing third! Now bow down before me and kiss the rings, bitches."

Then when Brian Cashman says that Alex is a great player, and that there's no way the Yankees will trade him, Hank will have him shot in Times Square while hundreds of teenagers who were just there hoping to catch a glimpse of Miley Cyrus in the TRL studios or something will scream in horror. It's going to be pretty awesome.

The reason for all this? Well, the Yankees are looking to complete their first three-game sweep of the season, and they've won the first two games of their series against the White Sox without Alex Rodriguez in the lineup. He won't be back today either.


A-Rod's absence yesterday actually inspired Mike Mussina to not suck for a night, and tonight the Yankees are hoping it will do the same for Philip Hughes. The man that Cashman refused to trade to Minnesota for Johan Santana in the offseason has rewarded Brian for his faith by starting out the season 0-3 with an 8.82 ERA.

Hughes will be opposed by fantasy fraud Gavin Floyd who's supposed to have an 0-3 record and 8.82 ERA, yet for some reason, he's 2-0 with a 1.40 ERA in three starts, and would be 3-0 if not for a blown save by Bobby Jenks in his last start against Baltimore. This will be Floyd's first career start against the Yankees, and given the way things have gone in the first two games of this series, he better enjoy that 1.40 ERA while he still can.

Milwaukee Brewers (13-8) vs. Philadelphia Phillies (11-11) - 1:05PM Est.

Remember a couple of days ago when I ate those mushrooms had that psychic vision, and saw Prince Fielder eating a cheeseburger? Well, in the last two days since he ate that burger, Prince has gone 5-for-7 with two homers, and five runs driven in. As a result, this afternoon the Brewers will have nothing in the clubhouse's pre-game spread but burgers and brats, with meat infused buns. In other words, a typical Milwaukee breakfast.

Hopefully all that fleshy goodness won't weigh down Jeff Suppan as he gets the start for Milwaukee this afternoon. Suppan only has a record of 1-0 so far this season, but the Brewers are 4-0 as a team in his starts. Jeff's struggled against the Phillies in his career, going 3-5 with a 6.18 ERA, and has lost four of the last five times he's faced them.

Also, while I'm sure you're all well aware of the story E:60 did on Miguel Tejada in which they ambushed him with his actual age, but have you seen previews for the next episode? The did the same thing to today's Phillies starter, Jamie Moyer, in which Rachel Nichols has found proof that Moyer is actually 89 years old, not 45 as he claims. Moyer gets incredibly upset, and stands up to leave only to fall down and break his hip. Make sure you catch it, it's riveting television. Now I just wish they'd do some investigative reporting so we can find out whether J-Roll's ankle is broken or not.

If all that isn't enough to make you want to watch this game, stay tuned to FanHouse this afternoon where we plan to unveil something new with this game that will ALTER THE COURSE OF TIME. Stay tuned.

Los Angeles Dodgers (9-12) vs. Arizona Diamondbacks (15-6) - 10:10PM Est.

Is it too soon to award the NL West to the Diamondbacks? I mean, we're 21 games into the season and they already have a six game lead on the second place Dodgers in the division. There's no way anybody can overcome a six game deficit in only 141 games!

The Dodgers are actually looking to complete a modest two-game sweep of the Snakes tonight, and they'll be handing the ball off to Chad Billingsley to get it done. Billingsley is 0-3 on the season so far, and Chad got knocked around for five runs in less than three innings in a start against Arizona earlier this season.

The DBacks counter with Edgar Gonzalez, who is somebody I know absolutely nothing about. I figured he was some youngster, but apparently he's been around long enough to rack up a nice 1-4 record with an 8.48 ERA in six career starts against the Dodgers. Good for him.

Everybody Else

• Reds vs. Astros - 12:35PM
• Tigers vs. Rangers - 1:05PM
• Red Sox vs. Angels - 1:35PM
• Rockies vs. Cubs - 3:05PM
• A's vs. Twins - 3:35PM
• Royals vs. Indians - 6:10PM Game 1
• Braves vs. Marlins - 7:00PM
• Pirates vs. Cardinals - 7:05PM
• Nationals vs. Mets - 7:10PM
• Rays vs. Blue Jays - 7:10PM
• Royals vs. Indians - 8:40PM Game 2
• Padres vs. Giants - 10:05PM
• Mariners vs. Orioles - 10:10PM