Nothing like a slew of spicy allegations to really rev up the Monday morning, especially when they pertain to Roger Clemens. We've got everything from envelopes of cash to partying with Monica Lewinsky. But how do these allegations sort out in the sordid spectrum of celebrity society? Ranking the Rank finds out.5. FedEx envelopes full of cash -- Nothing really illegal about this one, although the immoral factor is pretty high if the money is being shipped to a mistress - celebrity type. Still, Rocket. You're ridiculously rich, man. Hire a real courier. Or write a check. It's just as traceable as that FedEx insurance slip you're filling out while shipping American currency.
4. Trips to Las Vegas -- Sure, what happens there stays there, but how cliche can you be? Take the alleged mistress to Vegas? Meh. Not to mention, every dood knows that you don't trot your celebrity lady-friend out in the public like that; you gotta use the private jet and roll to some secluded island.
2. Partying with Monica Lewinsky -- One would assume that these "sources" are gonna drop the biggest names possible ... and that's the best you can do, Rog? Come on. You [allegedly without cheating] won a slew of Cy Youngs. Sure, you don't have a no-hitter, but you can still pull bigger celebrity than her, right?
2. Losing your lady friend to Dean Cain -- Sure, Cain played Superman, but that doesn't excuse getting beat out by the guy. You talk about mid-90's D-list celebrities, well, this guy is definition "wheelhouse". Rocket's inability to pull Teri Hatcher on a spite move (no word yet on whether he actually tried or not) doesn't help his status either.
1. 15 Year Old Mistress -- Yeaaaah. There's nothing remotely appropriate about that.
