Pictured, right: the Canadian national baseball team on their way to practice.
Stubby Clapp isn't going to be a part of Canada's Olympic squad in Beijing this year and it's a damn shame, because the minute or so it took the announcers to talk about how funny his name is would've been the most entertaining minute or so in Canadian baseball this year. The Houston Astros organization should be ashamed of themselves for
denying a kinda bad, injured, 35 year old minor leaguer in their employ to pinch hit once or twice on the seventh or eighth-ish place team at the Summer Olympics. Who are they going to get to replace him, Billy Jo Robidoux? That guy isn't even Canadian.
After the jump, today's Dugout, wherein The Stubbster breaks the bad news to his coach, who looks a lot like the singer Sting when you look at him for a while.
The Dugout
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HamilToe: Whaddaya mean they aren't gonna let you play??
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AmputeesApplause: The Astros were very clear, yah, they want me in Class A Lexington to do my job. Aye dunno coach. |
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HamilToe: Oh boy, oh BOY this isn't good, no sir... this is the worst thing to happen to Canada since that hayride that tipped over and killed everybody |
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AmputeesApplause: So you lose some veteran leadership, what's the big whoop? |
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HamilToe: First of all, Stubby, do you know how hard it is to find somebody to replace the name "Stubby Clapp?" By God I just don't think it can be done. |
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HamilToe: Per Djoos doesn't play baseball, Coot Veal isn't Canadian, and Shag Shaughnessy has been dead for forty years |
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HamilToe: plus all of our Major Leaguers are goin' to hell as of late, so we're down to the rough stuff |
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AmputeesApplause: What? What's happening to everybody? |
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HamilToe: Well I dunno Stubby! Adam Loewen is always gettin' hurt, Pete Orr got Dark City replaced with Jeff Francoeur an' then fell off the face of the Earth, Sebastien Boucher's mama won't let him play the foosball...
and Jason Bay, don't get me started on Jason Bay
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AmputeesApplause: What's wrong with Jason? He's pretty good, eh? |
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HamilToe: I always end up drafting Jason Bay to my fantasy team and then he hits .220 with 1 home run and 4 RBI in 350 games, no thanks |
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HamilToe: right now our outfield is looking like Ryan Radmanovinch, Todd McFarlane, and a polar bear, that's how our outfield is looking |
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AmputeesApplause: you'd rather have a polar bear in the outfield than Jason Bay? |
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HamilToe: I'm just tired of looking at his face, ugh |
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HamilToe: okay you're right though, the polar bear is just gonna draw walks, we'll start Radmanovinch, McFarlane, and "Inuit Fisherman" |
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HamilToe: damn Stubby, are you sure you can't get to Beijing? Our government'd surely supply you with all the high quality beers and old tapes of You Can't Do That On Television you'd need to be persuaded, being a Canadian as you are, having been born in Canada like you was |
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AmputeesApplause: Nah, they were very explicit, I asked them about it and they said "Roger Clemens?" and then started at me for a while there |
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AmputeesApplause: It sucks, y'know, because they're letting Miguel Tejada play for the Dominican Republic team, on account of him bein' only 17 years old. |
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HamilToe: he's pretty good for his age, y'know |
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AmputeesApplause: Oh, I know. |
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HamilToe: Well Stubb, I guess I'm gonna have to accept the fact that this year we aren't gonna get the Clapp. /pats shoulder |
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HamilToe: damn, this might be worse than the deadly hayride |
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AmputeesApplause: Anything I can do for ya before I head back to Lexington? |
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HamilToe: Well now that you meantion it, Inuit Fisherman keeps stabbing the ball with a harpoon, could ya figure out a way to stop him from doin' that? |
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AmputeesApplause: I'm on it, Coach! |
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HamilToe: Oh Stubby, you're the best Canadian leader since Louis-Hippolyte Lafontaine, born 1807. |
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AmputeesApplause: Oh, Hamilton, I stand on guard for thee. |
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
5-10-2008 @ 11:54AM
andrew said...
Take off, you hoser.
Reply