brian_bar_bannister: I now commence tonight's Speculation Station.

brian_bar_bannister: Our contributers are Carlos Delgado and Chipper Jones.

DelgadoServeSomebody: Hello.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Good evening, friends.

brian_bar_bannister: Tonight's subject of speculation:

A JTM commercial starring Bronson Arroyo and Chris Welsh.

brian_bar_bannister: Context:

JTM is a frozen food services company. Bronson Arroyo is a starting pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds. Chris Welsh is a broadcaster for the same team.

brian_bar_bannister: Watch here.

brian_bar_bannister: Thank you for watching. We will now offer queries regarding the logic, circumstances, and meanings both ostensible and deconstructed. I will hereby open the discussion.

DelgadoServeSomebody: The first few bars of the song Arroyo is playing sound ripped from a song. Perhaps "Paint, It Black" by The Rolling Stones, a song you may remember as the "Tour of Duty" theme song.

DelgadoServeSomebody:

Item #1. Why the abrupt switch to a standard radio-rock tune, and why is the switch made an awkward three bars in instead of four?

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Item #2. Arroyo sings, "The Reds are not home." If this is true, why are the team's broadcaster and starting pitcher sitting in the dugout.?

brian_bar_bannister:

Item #3. Why is a broadcaster sitting in the dugout to begin with?

DelgadoServeSomebody:

Item #4. The broadcaster appears to be crying. Is this because the Reds are not in town, or because he does not have immediate access to JTM food products? The narrative does not specify.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: On that tangent, Item #5. Why would he be crying about a lack of JTM food products when they are soon revealed to have been sitting in his lap all along?

brian_bar_bannister:

OBJECTION #1! It is not clearly established whether the food products have been in his lap all along. Accordingly, I have another Item to introduce.

brian_bar_bannister:

Item #6. Is it possible that the food products were placed in his lap through some supernatural means? And I'm sorry to keep parsing this out, but on this tangent:

brian_bar_bannister:

Item #7. If we do suppose that the answer to the previous item is "yes", can we then suppose that the entire premise of the setting and story is supernatural? Perhaps Arroyo is purported (within the context of this commercial, of course) to have mystical properties?

DelgadoServeSomebody: I would like to support Item #7 with Item #8. It appears as though the broadcaster does not acknowledge Arroyo's presence, despite the fact that he is playing and singing loudly an arm's length away from him. This is a narrative wall that can be explained away with Item #7. Ratify Item #7?

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Ratify.

brian_bar_bannister: I also move to ratify. As a consequence of a 3-0 vote, we will ratify Item #7 and all proposed Items under its logical umbrella, including Item #8.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: On the subject of the music: Item #9. The vocals are clearly over-dubbed, presumably with a studio recording of Arroyo's own vocals. Why is this?

DelgadoServeSomebody: To answer that, Item #10. The producers of the commercial were unsure of the music they would use at the time they filmed it.

brian_bar_bannister:

Item #11. Granted, the filming process appears to be single-camera and could not have taken more than ten minutes to complete. However, I don't see how they could have regarded it as the "easy" part of the process, as the lyrics surely took a fraction of that time to write. I will re-post the lyrics of this song for posterity.

brian_bar_bannister:

He sits alone.
The Reds are not home.
But that's okay, because
They're together again.
They're together again.
Beef hoagie.
They're together again.
J.T.M.
They're together again.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Item #12. The level of awareness is clear to me. It is fruitless to mock the lyrics of this song, because all parties involved were clearly, for lack of a better term, "trying to be silly."

DelgadoServeSomebody:

Item #13. I submit that at some point in the process, one of the parties involved used one of the following phrases to describe their vision of the commercial:

Awkwardly random.
Weirdly awkward.
Randomly weird.

brian_bar_bannister: Ugh.

That's not an Item, sorry.

DelgadoServeSomebody: Moving on.

Item #14. With regards to Item #12: Does the intent of the commercial's creators exempt their creation of scrutiny? Is it possible that their impetus for being "silly" is faulty?

brian_bar_bannister: I believe so.

Item #15. Broadcaster-centric humor often finds appeal with sports fans. The set-up for this joke is: "broadcaster likes food." The punchline is: "broadcaster likes food."

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Item #16. It is implied that the broadcaster, Chris Welsh, copes with the absence of the Reds by eating JTM food products. This sad commentary is apparently intended to augment the self-effacement present throughout the commercial.

DelgadoServeSomebody:

Item #17. Quickly, on the subject of the food itself. The beef hoagie is presented on a cutting board alongside a ripe tomato and an undefined dipping sauce. The hoagie itself does not look particularly appetizing, and the idea that its presentation is more appealing with Arroyo singing "beef hoagie" over it is, at the least, strange.

brian_bar_bannister:

Item #18. We have already discussed the artificial vocals (Item #9), but not the rest of the music, which clearly features a lead electric guitar, bass guitar, and drum kit. None of these instruments, nor their players, are shown, which completely voids the idea, even on the most ostensible of levels, that this is a real-world interaction.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Similarly: Item #19. Outside of the opening strum, I am unable to detect the presence of an acoustic guitar throughout the song. Interestingly, Arroyo is shown playing an acoustic guitar.

DelgadoServeSomebody:

On that note, Item #20. Did the real-life Arroyo believe that those sounds would come out of his guitar, or did he originally intend to play an acoustic version that the commercial's producers later decided was of insufficient quality?

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

I move to ratify the latter.

brian_bar_bannister: I as well.

Item #20b is ratified.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Finally, Item #21. At the end, Arroyo concludes his song while looking into the camera. This implies that his character is aware of the "fourth wall", so to speak, and that perhaps he is meant to serve as the viewer's guide through the commercial.

DelgadoServeSomebody:

Interesting! Item #22. The previous item suggests to me that while on its most superficial layer, the commercial is "about" Arroyo, and on a less superficial but still ostensible level, the commercial is "about" JTM food products, the commercial is actually intended to be "about" the broadcaster, Chris Welsh.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones:

Item #23. I would argue that there is a fourth level of meaning here -- the unintended meaning. This commercial, ultimately, is "about" what happens when a creatively strapped production company broadcasts a local television commercial on the heels of local celebrities.

DelgadoServeSomebody:

I object, and will continue to posit that extensive deconstruction of this commercial is fruitless and unnecessary, and runs astray from our responsibility, as viewers, to understand it.

brian_bar_bannister: Overruled. Item #23 ratified by a 2-1 vote.

brian_bar_bannister: Nonetheless, there is a disagreement within the panel, and as a consequence, further Speculation shall not continue.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Well played, friends.

DelgadoServeSomebody: Indeed. Thanks for indulging me.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Any time. I hope there are no ill feelings between us as a result of our disagreement.

DelgadoServeSomebody: None at all, I look forward to our next Speculation Station.

brian_bar_bannister: Thank you two for reconciling. We must always make sure our debates are motivated by a search for truth, rather than selfish pride, and you two have shown me here that you know this as well.

brian_bar_bannister: The Speculation Station is now in recess.

DelgadoServeSomebody: Goodbye.

AChipOffTheOl'_erJones: Bye.

brian_bar_bannister: Bye.

**OnlineHost** Carlos Delgado has left the chatroom.

**OnlineHost** Chipper Jones has left the chatroom.

**OnlineHost** Brian Bannister has left the chatroom.