Somebody Get Ichiro a Beer

The first two months of the 2008 season haven't been very kind to the Seattle Mariners. A team that was a darkhorse candidate to win the AL West or wild card amongst some morons who think they know what they're talking about (like me, for instance) has been nothing of the sort. Instead Seattle is 18-31, 10.5 games behind the Angels, and they're in danger of being out of contention before June makes it's appearance this year.

So obviously, it hasn't been the easiest few months in the lives of Mariners fans. It's never fun to watch your team suck (well, unless their suckiness is of epic proportions), and while it's not fun to watch, you can be pretty sure it's not fun to play for a team that sucks either. It may even drive you to the bottle, just ask Ichiro Suzuki, who said this after Seattle's 13-2 loss to the Yankees on Friday.

"Playing on this team and seeing what is happening around me, I feel that something is beginning to fall apart," Ichiro said through a translator. "But, if I was not in this situation, and I was objectively watching what just happened this week, I would probably be drinking a lot of beers and booing."

Ichiro's being too kind when he says things are beginning to fall apart. That's kind of like saying Amy Winehouse is starting to show signs of a serious drug addiction.

If you look at Ichiro's numbers so far in 2008, he's hitting .284/.348/.373 (well below his career averages of .332/.378/.434), you might think he's already had one too many of those Sapporos. Unfortunately, considering that the Mariners hitting and pitching are both at the bottom of the AL, they have a run differential of freaking -52, and there are no major injuries to the club right now (Putz' time on the DL doesn't count because closers mean nothing when you don't have leads to give them), it doesn't look like things are going to get any better.