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The Dugout: Dmitri Young Makes Do

5/27/2008 8:50 PM ET By Jon Bois

    • Jon Bois
    • Jon Bois is a FanHouse Blogger
I think I know why Dmitri Young was compelled to run his ass off during yesterday's game against the Brewers. For an athlete, he sure doesn't run around very much, and he is still able to keep his body weight from vaulting him into the lofty pantheon of fellows who have to be carted around in a trailer. He's spent most of the season on the disabled list, and I assume he elected to make up his burned-calorie quota in the span of ten seconds.

That video really is something. It's as if he was punching the ground with every step. The man was born with four arms and no legs.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: mmph

**OnlineHost** Dmitri Young has hit the ball against the center field wall.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ah s***

i ain runnin

GoodGasMileage: c'mon man it aint runnin its just punchin the earth with ya legs

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what the erf done ta me

GoodGasMileage: i dunno but they call it "mother earth"

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ha

taste it bitch

/deliberately stomps to first

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /pant pant pant

wwwwwoof

TheFreshPrince: Dmitri! How's it going, man?

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: aight

jus kick the mother erf in she uglies

TheFreshPrince: Huh.

You look a little winded, man. Have you been eating okay? What did you have for lunch today?

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: salads

TheFreshPrince: Good choice. What kind of salad? Have a recipe? I'm always looking for new stuff to try.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: aight

get ya 12 white castles an 20 egg yolks, put them s***s in a blender

pour it over 12 of them peep candies

its called "dmitri youngs haul ass energy salad" an if ya aint cite me ill cook ya an eat ya in a gravy

TheFreshPrince: Man, you should consider going vegetarian.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what in the f*** is

oh is that just chicken bones an milk

TheFreshPrince: It's a meat-free lifestyle.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: WHAT IN THE F*** IS A LIFESTYLE

TheFreshPrince: "Vegetarian" means no meat. Just fruits, vegetables, grains, stuff like that. I feel great with all that stuff in my body.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: wh

hol this fa me

/pulls 5-gallon jar of sugar out of back pocket

TheFreshPrince: Why?

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: brb

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /runs to second

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /runs to third

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /barrels home

barbie_and_kendall: What is this idiot doing? HOME THROW IT HOME

HomePlateUmp: oh my god

uh, home run

barbie_and_kendall: What? That's a live ball, are you kidding me?

HomePlateUmp: home run, end of game, end of season, get your ass the hell out of the way

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /rounds home, runs back toward first

**OnlineHost** The wind sheer has blown Jason Kendall into the stands.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: huff huff huff huff huff

TheFreshPrince: /stands on first base holding jar of sugar

welp

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: huff huff huff huff you dumb you dumb you dumb youdumb youdumb youdumb youdumb
youdumbyoudumbyoudumbyoudumb
youdumbyoudumbyoudumbYOUDUMB

**OnlineHost** Dmitri Young has collided into Prince Fielder with 93 tons of pound-force.

**OnlineHost** Prince Fielder and the jar of sugar have been compromised at the molecular level and re-bonded.

**OnlineHost** The right side of the infield is peppered with fun-size "Blue's Clues" fruit snacks.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri:

i jus made ya inta fruit snacks

becaus im really SMART!

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: a clue a clue

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: /devours bag of fruit candy, does not unwrap

Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons

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