Earlier this week, New York Yankees senior VP
Hank "George" Steinbrenner came down like a decrepit stadium on the
role of pitchers in interleague play, saying that it was an antiquated rule that caused one of his best pitchers to miss time with the team. The "blogging-o-sphere" immediately got their panties in a bunch over the comments, but you know what? Hank Steinbrenner is exactly right. Are we supposed to let tradition halt evolution? Should we still be playing games in the dark? Should we just play old tapes of Red Barber over new games and hope the play-by-play matches up?
Of course we shouldn't. Hank, the boys at
The Dugout are here for you. Today's Dugout (which can be read by clicking the "read the dugout" thing that follows this paragraph) blows the roof off of the hypocritical, so-called web-logging-o-sphere. Grow up, National League. You baby.
The Dugout
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HanksForNothing: My only message is simple. The National League needs to join the 21st century. They need to grow up and join the 21st century. |
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HanksForNothing: Am I [mad] about it? Yes. |
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HanksForNothing: I've got my pitchers running the bases, and one of them gets hurt. He's going to be out. |
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HanksForNothing: I don't like that, and it's about time they address it. That was a rule from the 1800s. |
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**Online Host**
Welcome to the 1800s Chatroom! |
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EthierOr: hey skip, you got the lineup card for tonight? I wanted to see where you have me. |
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Torreumon: Sure do, Andre. Let's see, today you're at... /adjusts bifocals, surveys card
...lamplighter.
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Torreumon: What that means is, you take this big torch, climb up on top of the building, and light all the stadium lights with the fire so we can see at night. |
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EthierOr: man, I hate playing in the National League |
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Torreumon: Count your blessings, boy, you could be starting at Chandler tonight. |
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pennywise: /dissolves lye in clubhouse wash basin
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pennywise: /weighs out eucalyptus oil, fresh rosemary leaves, lavender essential oil, colored wax, lye, coconut oil, palm oil, glycerin, rubbing alcohol, various fruits and dried flowers |
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pennywise: /spends all day waiting for pot belly stove to melt mixture |
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pennywise: /stirs
/throws out shoulder
gaaaaaah
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pennywise: why can't we just buy soap |
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Torreumon: Does this look like modern times to you, with all its niceties and commodité? This is the National League of Professional Baseball Clubs! We strength-train you for things like this. |
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Torreumon: Until your shoulder heals you'll be playing "bootblack." |
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pennywise: don't we have a guy for that |
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Torreumon: No, you're thinking of Chris Bootblack. He plays for the Angels. |
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DoctorProctor: things sure were better for us in New York City, huh coach? |
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Torreumon: Nonsense. Out here is a simpler life, Scott. No hustle-and-bustle from the horseless carriages. No flashbulbs from the Prominents and paparazzo. No hitters being "DH'd" for anythin'. |
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Torreumon: No, out here in the National League we don't worry our heads about designated hitters and sitch. |
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DoctorProctor: I sure do miss having a telephone, though. |
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Torreumon: /hitches up draws
Heh, what's a telly-phone?
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**Online Host**
RockyDennis has entered the chatroom in a right huff! |
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RockyDennis: Colonel! Dah, I mean "Coach!" Come quick! |
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Torreumon: What say you, post-person? |
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RockyDennis: The Cincinnati Redcoats have invaded the Pacific Theatre! His majesty Dusty Baker condemns our "small ball" and demands satisfaction! |
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Torreumon: Then satisfaction he shall have! Come men! Hoist your leathered mits and meet me at Chavez Ravine! |
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Torreumon: Hey waitaminute, where's our closer? |
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**Online Host**
Meanwhile, outside |
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MasaSaito: /works on railroad |
Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-18-2008 @ 2:41PM
nurnay said...
Great work, today. The last line killed me.
Reply
6-18-2008 @ 2:30PM
mike said...
Good work today!
Reply
6-19-2008 @ 2:52PM
Jade said...
Genius as always, B. :D
Reply