It's not quite Jonathan Papelbon in a Rastafarian wig doing "Blame it on the Rain," but the rap war between Ozzie Guillen's South Side Guys and Lou "Big Sweet" Piniella's North Side Guys has reached critical mass. Condescending insults have been the norm, but now the rivalry has lead to threats of physical violence. This has got to stop. Somebody needs to step in and regulate. Can't we all just get along?This morning, we hope to get inside the mentality of these gangster rappers and come to some societal conclusions, and though we don't have the hilarious narrator from The History Channel's "Gangland" ("One day, he was leaving a Church's Chicken! when several Crips members surprised him") but we're doing the best with what we have.
Today's jump is real, naw'mean, after the jump. Ya feel me?
The Dugout
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: I'm a South Side Guy! |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: I KNOW, I CAN TELL! |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: What's that mean? You can go to [hoooonk] |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WE PLAY DAY BALL AT ADDISON AND CLARK |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: At 35th and Shields, we ballin' after dark! |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: SPARKS WILL FLY FROM OUR CUBBIE BATS |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: You remind me of Minnesota Fats! |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: I'M A NORTH SIDE GUY! |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: I don't know why I'm even on this track, y'all northsidas ain't even on my level. I'm going to let my little homies ride on you, bitch made ass Chicago Cubs bitches |
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WordUpThome: GET OUT THE WAY YO GET OUT THE WAY YO LOU PINIELLA JUST GOT DROPPED |
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WordUpThome: LITTLE MOVE PASS THE MIC AND LET ME HIM HIM IN HIS BACK FRANK WHITE NEEDS TO GET SPANKED PROPERLY FOR SETTING TRAPS |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: FRANK WHITE PLAYED FOR THE ROYALS |
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WordUpThome: PEEP HOW WE DO IT, KEEP IT REAL THE PENITENTIARY STEEL, THIS AINT NO FREESTYLE BATTLE |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: WHO SHOT YA |
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WordUpThome: WHEN |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: MOB TIES LIKE SINATRA, PERUVIANS TRIED TO DO ME IN, I AIN'T PAID THEM YET |
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lumberjacks_kerrywood: Think you big time? F***kin' with the Chicago Cubs? You gonna die big time! Here come the pain! |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: Black and blue, that's what you're gonna be! |
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PiniellaOnTheDonkey: OH YEAH IT'S THE CROSSTOWN RIVAL-RY! |
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**Online Host** offer ends 6/30/08 |
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WordUpThome: YOU'RE LOOKIN AT THE FRIDGE I'M THE ROOKIE |
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WordUpThome: I MAY BE LARGE BUT I'M NO DU |
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WordUpThome: DUMB COOKIE |
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OzzieOzzieOzzie: You can stop now, the commercial is over. |
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WordUpThome: BUT I'VE GOT SO MUCH LEFT TO SPIT |
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
6-22-2008 @ 2:22PM
ForceEight said...
...amazing.
and, based on my impersonations as I was reading, Jim Thome sounds nearly identical to a freestyling Barney Rubble.
Reply
6-22-2008 @ 4:05PM
Gary Davis said...
Only Barney Rubble doesn't strike out as much.
Reply
6-23-2008 @ 9:59AM
Emily said...
WordUpThome: BUT I'VE GOT SO MUCH LEFT TO SPIT
Omg. Beautiful.
Reply
6-24-2008 @ 2:34PM
PeteJayhawk said...
Going on now at your Chicagoland and Northwest Indiana Chevy dealers.
Gaah get out of my head, ad.
Reply
6-25-2008 @ 11:18AM
jmesa said...
Jim Thome doing the Super Bowl Shuffle? I just died laughing. You guys are brilliant.
Reply
6-30-2008 @ 10:50AM
Ashley said...
As I am a baseball lover, I try to watch games whenever I have time. But, for me, and without doubt for thousands of other fans all over the world, I love the Chicago Cubs and I do my best to attend their games though we notice that Cubs tickets got a little pricy and hard to be found especially when we talk about some hot games. The Chicago Cubs tickets are a little pricy but this should not prevent us from fallowing our favourite team and support it, and this is what means to be a good fan.
Reply