Interleague Baseball is Boring: Diamondbacks-Red Sox Live Blog

Baseball is America's pastime, but had our forefathers enjoyed the modern conveniences of clocks, ball pumps, or haste, this pastime may well have been basketball or football. Instead, they had wood, leather, and a rudderless disposition. Baseball is Boring is a series of live blogs for folks who need irony and self-awareness to get through a game.

Check out Jonathan Papelbon up there. What are screams but angry yawns?

When first instituted a decade ago, interleague baseball was fun. Before 1997, the only regular-season interleague baseball existed as fan fiction in my Trapper Keeper, and usually involved Bo Jackson catching a line drive from Barry Larkin and running up a wall to high-five the black guy from DC Talk. But today, the interleague thrill is gone. Proponents of the rule argue that they allow fans to see teams and players they otherwise wouldn't at the ballpark, but I don't live in a baseball city, and those people can go fly a kite.

Diamondbacks and Red Sox, at Fenway, after the jump.THE ESSENTIALS
The Diamondbacks (39-37) start Dan Haren (7-4, 3.26 ERA).
The Red Sox (47-31) start Josh Beckett (7-4, 3.87 ERA).

ANALYSIS
Pop open a third bottle of bubbly.
Yeah, and I take that bottle of champagne,
Go into the kitchen, stand in front of the kitchen window,
And I take all my clothes off, take that bottle of champagne,
And I pour it on my head, feel it cascade through my hair,
And across my chest, and the phone rings.
And it's my mother.
And she says "HI HONEY HOW'S BOSTON?"

- "The Ice of Boston", The Dismemberment Plan

PREDICTION
Red Sox 5, Diamondbacks 4.

QUICK NOTE ABOUT THIS LIVE BLOG
From here forth, my banal and worthless commentary can be read in the box below. It updates much like a one-way instant messenger conversation does, which means you do not need to keep refreshing the page. Feel free to comment in the box at the bottom -- if your sentiment is funny or poorly-informed enough, I may just post it in the blog. Enjoy!