**OnlineHost** Welcome to Smoke-Filled Room Chat!

PrimeTimeGillick: Omar! You roustabout, I haven't seen you in a hound's age!

omar_goodness: Well who shows, but the bald man from Philadelphia? How are things in New Baltic?

PrimeTimeGillick: Never better! Run differential is up, up, up!

omar_goodness: Like a needle on the scale your mother stands atop! Chee!

fLORIdA: Stow it, you ragamuffins! Doubtless, I feel like the paternal figure here.

/lights pipe

All I need is an Ottoman and a fresh copy of the Evening Post!

**OnlineHost** Jeffrey Loria's amusing crack draws guffaws from around the room!

PrimeTimeGillick: Well if you are Pa, this doting old maid is the Ma! Jeffrey, surely you heard about our global ballooning race Winter last?

omar_goodness: The mother? Me? I can scarcely operate a griddle! I am more a big brother to you, my little man.

omar_goodness: Jeffrey, what you may not have heard was that Patrick here failed to stand vigil on the burner unit of his balloon, and was compelled to make an emergency landing in Kamchatka!

omar_goodness: /chortles

While I circled the globe and made haste to Atlantic City, this dumb fool was lost in the Orient, treading water in an ocean of opiates!

**OnlineHost** Omar Minaya's amusing crack draws guffaws from around the room!

PrimeTimeGillick: Hahaha! Settle down, settle down, or you won't get your Favor!

omar_goodness: A Favor? For the good my Metropolitans did your Phillies season last, I expect an oil massage and a reach-about!

**OnlineHost** Omar Minaya's amusing crack draws guffaws from around the room!

PrimeTimeGillick: /produces varnished cigar case

As promised, your payment. I know little about the world of cigars, so I tasked a young associate to travel the British occupieds and find the finest my American money would buy.

omar_goodness: Oh goodness, sir, these are of the finest grade! Had I known these were waiting for me, I would have taken a rod to Mr. Reyes' knee my own self!

You certainly know the key to a man's heart, Mr. Gillick!

PrimeTimeGillick: /mimics talking into intercom

Paging J. Edgar! Paging J. Edgar!

**OnlineHost** Pat Gillick's amusing crack draws guffaws from around the room!

fLORIdA: To business, to business!

The wire reports that Gary Carter wants a managerial position in our Major Leagues.

omar_goodness: The "Mets", as I call them for short, have a managerial vacancy. Go on!

fLORIdA: He was a Hall of Fame catcher. As we're aware, former catchers make fine managers. See Mike Scioscia, see Joe Girardi.

omar_goodness: Well! Give me a contact with Mr. Carter, post-haste!

fLORIdA: Remember your role, nor'easter! The agreement was no National League East title in New York until 2'016. It's the Marlins' turn at the ladder this year.

PrimeTimeGillick: And even save for that, we do not want "good managers". We want well-intentioned men to fill expendable positions. Remember, the Shadow Hand must sand-bag itself from the fickle floods.

PrimeTimeGillick: Keep the manager you have. If your team succeeds, credit your-self! If your team fails, replace your field manager as you would a fuse in your cellar!

omar_goodness: After further consideration, I accept your sentiment and move forward a motion to collude against Mr. Carter.

fLORIdA: Indeed. What is the Shadow Hand of the National League East without a spirit of collusion and monopoly?

PrimeTimeGillick: I will seek to have this action notarized by our Dean Lord. Please raise the shroud.

omar_goodness: /pulls cord

**OnlineHost** The shroud is lifted to reveal Ted Lerner, lying motionless in an iron lung.

PrimeTimeGillick: Dean Lord, do you make Final Consent to an act of collusion against Gary Carter?

SlowLerner: base

*gik*

ball

*gik*

game!

*gik*

fLORIdA: Um. We'll call that a vote in favor.

omar_goodness: But what if Gary Carter goes public with the knowledge that we have blackballed him?

PrimeTimeGillick: Then the wrath of the Heavens will be visited upon our heads. Because when Gary Carter speaks, people listen.