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MLB

The Red Sox Bullpen Enjoys Naked Women

I go to a lot of baseball games, and one of my favorite places to sit is out by the visitor's bullpen because it gives me direct access to opposing team's players. Since I'm so close, the guys in the bullpen generally have no choice but to listen to me. You can generally hear me saying things like "Hey Todd Jones! I would tell you how bad you suck right now, but you've been watching yourself pitch for 30 years now. You already know you suck. You big bag of suck. God, you suck. Oh, and your column sucks too!"

As you can see, I'm a bit of a human thesaurus.

Not everybody out in the bleachers is out to get the other team though, as some fans prefer to sit by their own teams bullpen and chat it up with their favorite players. Or, if you live in Boston, you give them naked pictures of your ex-wife.
According to RotoWorld.com, a gang of Sox fans decided to give the Red Sox bullpen a thrill during a recent game at Fenway. So one of them threw a naked picture of his ex-wife over the fence, which was fielded by closer Jonathan Papelbon. Well, the bullpen bunch was so thrilled with the pic they threw back a baseball, signed by all the pitchers, inscribed with the words, "Thanks for the bullpen pics."
This is an excellent move that I would like to utilize myself with opposing bullpens, but there's the slight problem of not having an ex-wife that gets in my way. Though I suppose I could just give Joe Nathan a naked photo of myself. Nobody would be able to concentrate on throwing strikes after seeing that, I'm just too sexy.

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