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Seinfeld: The Dugout About Nothing

7/18/2008 12:00 AM ET By Nick Dallamora

    • Nick Dallamora
    • Nick Dallamora is a FanHouse Blogger
Sometimes we get a little silly at the Dugout. Yep, that's not a good sign. Check out the title. Anyone got a shark I can borrow?

I'm a big Seinfeld fan, and I always appreciated the subtle humor. This isn't so much subtle as it is a fake AIM conversation between baseball players pretending to be sitcom characters. Sigh.

David Ortiz went 1-3 with a homer in the minors tonight. Should I have covered that? Richie Sexson? An All-Star game that I only saw 11 innings of because it's an exhibition game and I'm old? Then lay off.

The Dugout

**Online Host** Bow k'bow wow ow, ow uh owww ow ow budda da bow uh wowww wow wow wow. Puh puh k'puh puh.
SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: /taps answering machine
AnsweringMachine: "...Jarrod? It's Mom. AND DAD! Tell him I'm here too! Yes, yes, you're father just got back from the dentist. He says 'hi'. Anyway, I was wondering WE WERE WONDERING. I'M HERE TOO. Yes, we were wondering if we could stop by sometime this weekend and see the big fancy baseball player's new house. Call me ba CALL US BACK."
SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: /bites apple

big_wiener: /slides through doorway

/slams door

big_wiener: jarrod! you are not gonna BELIEVE what just happened!

/wrings out shirt

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: /sips from water bottle

I haven't the slightest idea.

big_wiener: a KID! pushed me into a pool. a POOL, jarrod!

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: /shrugs shoulders

/smug look

Speaker: /buzz
SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: Yeah?
Speaker: "...it's me"

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: Come on up.

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: So who's this kid?

big_wiener: /pockets 4 apples and a banana

some PUNK down at the arcade. see, i beat his high score in pacman. so i'm giving it to him good, really rubbing it in. so i leave, and as i'm walking through the park W'PHTHHTTTTBLAM! right in the fountain!

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: I thought you said it was a pool.
big_wiener: well, yeah. a pool of water.

JenksOweMeACoke: /walks in door

/hangs head, spreads arms

SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: What's with you?
JenksOweMeACoke: Wellllllllllll, let's see. Uh, well, Julie's never speaking to me again.
SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: What? Why?
JenksOweMeACoke: Let's just say she's not a fan of the swirl.
Elaine: lol
JenksOweMeACoke: I'm FREAKIN' OUT HERE JARROD!
**Online Host** EverybodyLovesRaymond has entered the chat
SaltalamacchiaDehydrated: Hello, blue man.
EverybodyLovesRaymond: /humps air
Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty Images

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