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MonroesMotivatedSequence: And...go.

Craig Monroe
On June 14, 2007, Monroe achieved the un-coveted platinum sombrero (5 Strikeouts in a game) in only 9 innings of play against the Milwaukee Brewers at home Comerica Park.

FrasierCrain: Platinum sombrero? Let's back up a minute. How did "golden sombrero" come to mean "striking out four times in a game"?

MonroesMotivatedSequence: Well, see, here's how it works. You take two middle-aged lummoxes, make them watch a baseball game, put mics in front of them, and tell them to fill three hours of airtime.

MonroesMotivatedSequence: Now do this upwards of 4,000 times a year over the course of like 75 years.

That's over 900,000 hours of airtime. Just try watching a single baseball game, and see if you don't come up with something at least as dumb as "golden sombrero."

GomezYouAre: Yeah, one time I watched a Brewers-Pirates game. By the end of it, I was calling walks "sieges of Stalingrad" and I had no idea why.

What a horrible sport.

GomezYouAre: Anyway, I'll go next.

Carlos Gomez
On May 16, 2007, he appeared in the Mets starting lineup along with Carlos Beltrán and Carlos Delgado, marking the first time in Major League history that a single team had three starters named "Carlos" in their lineup.[citation needed]

method_and_redmond: WHO EVEN CARES

WHO EVEN GIVES A S***

FrasierCrain: I can only imagine that the Elias Sports Bureau researched that. Have they been subsidized by the government or something? How do they have the manpower to research this stuff?

GomezYouAre: I went there once. There's this guy there who has two jugs in front of him on a table. One of them is filled with water. He just pours the water into the other jug, then back to the first jug, then back to the second jug. All day. For years. He told me he makes six digits.

method_and_redmond: I'm up.

Mike Redmond
Atlanta Braves fans were astounded at how well he did against Tom Glavine, much better than his career average.

FrasierCrain: Astounded! Astounded! Greater Atlanta is in a tizzy because some dude went 21 for 40 against some other dude!

MonroesMotivatedSequence: haha, homeys in East Point throwing a parade about it

method_and_redmond: folks in Roswell overturning cars and vandalizing property

FrasierCrain: fellas in Acworth just drinking jim beam and starting enormous brush fires

FrasierCrain: I'll go next.

Jesse Crain
Through July 10, 2008, he ranks third on the team in holds with 9. [1]

GomezYouAre: Hey, Chucky Contributer! It's been almost two weeks since you updated! You're droppin' the ball, squiddy!

MonroesMotivatedSequence: Yeah, I'm dying to know. Where does Jesse Crain stand on the Minnesota Twins' Grand List of holds? Has he moved up or down since July 10?

FrasierCrain: I wonder whether the guy died? You ever think about that? Like, what if you knew someone solely through the Internet, and that person just up and died? How would you know?

method_and_redmond: Craigslist's "missed connections" section?

FrasierCrain: "Know you from the 'Lost Fans' message board. Wondering if you're still alive. Me: guy with Locke avatar. You: girl with cumbersomely large animated GIF of Sun screaming in the helicopter."

MyClam: my turn

Mike Lamb
When Lamb is up to bat at Minute Maid Park, the scoreboard will frequently post a doctored photograph of Lamb's face on Sylvester Stallone's body as he appeared in Rambo with a caption featuring Lamb's nickname, Lambo.
...
Lamb named his unorthodox swing The Thing.

GomezYouAre: hahahaha come on man

MyClam: wull everyone's always makin fun of my name, it makes me seem like a real wussy, so i figure i'd try to make up for it!

FrasierCrain: Come on, guys, let's help him out.

You should start calling your bat "The Sword of Destiny."

MonroesMotivatedSequence: Call your glove "The Jaws of the Incredibly Hungry Lion."

GomezYouAre: Call your **** "The Sword of Destiny."

MyClam: i'm tryin not to get all sore about it, but i know you fellas are makin' fun o' me

MonroesMotivatedSequence: just step up to the plate with an actual sword

GomezYouAre: just step up to the plate with your **** in your hand