MLB

The Dugout: MannyWalking

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Hey there ladies and germs, I know we all want Manny Ramirez to walk more, but this is ridiculous!!!

Since the epic high-fiving of a fan mid-double-play, Manny has been "being" a little less interesting than Manny, often times only popping up in the news (read: blogs) when he takes a swing at somebody or complains about something. Well, thanks to the Mariners Blog we've got a great, classic Dugout angle that involves everything a good Manny Dugout should: bad puns, Papelbon, and something that would be completely pointless and of no interest to any member of humanity if we didn't have to have 24/7 news updates about everything that happens ever.

Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

MannyTheTorpedoes: /begins to fall asleep in the outfield

jeez an grackers are we finnish playin yet i won go hommmeeee

KingOfPap: yep reed lined out 2 sekint, all dun
MannyTheTorpedoes: did you clothes it
KingOfPap: yup i put a clothes on it
MannyTheTorpedoes: cool how much did we win by
KingOfPap: 4

MannyTheTorpedoes: you wanna play spies

KingOfPap: k

wat do spys do

MannyTheTorpedoes: espinodge

KingOfPap: o th' hotel room only gets espn espn 2 the duce an mabbe espn newds

MannyTheTorpedoes: doh wat abou at your home your dad have mfl sunday ticket i bet thas got a espinodge
KingOfPap: mabbe but were farrrrr from home
MannyTheTorpedoes: rly where are i
KingOfPap: safeco field thas in warshington
MannyTheTorpedoes: is it to far to ride bikes
KingOfPap: pretty far manny wed die

MannyTheTorpedoes: what abou a car

when papi hat to go play in maine he drove a car there from boson

KingOfPap: where is that i have nevr herd of maine

they got a team since when

MannyTheTorpedoes: since forevr how have u not heard abou maine is one of the mose impordan states

it is like the maine one

KingOfPap: oic

but manny we doan have a car were only 8 yrs olt

MannyTheTorpedoes: you donno how 2 coun i am this many

/holds up ten fingers
/holds up ten fingers
/holds up ten fingers
/holds up six fingers

i can drive a gar

KingOfPap: k where do we get 1 of those car
MannyTheTorpedoes: cross the street is a parging garage full of carse we can jus go over an drive one

MannyTheTorpedoes: were a rich we can jus have the carse even the olt ones

manny driving janney

KingOfPap: but we cant cross a st without prnts permission or an adult
MannyTheTorpedoes: no adults???
KingOfPap: papis hurt schillings hurt dustin is 11 jacoby is 12 an youklis hates u

MannyTheTorpedoes: hmmmmmm

/begins stomping in place

wanna cross a street
wanna cross a street
wanna cross a street

KingOfPap: dont do it youl get in2 trouble

MannyTheTorpedoes: /looks both ways

the street is full a peoples no gars comin

MannyTheTorpedoes: /closes eyes, lowers head

/sprints out into middle of the street

KingOfPap: !!!! im tellin!!!!! /runs back into stadium

MannyTheTorpedoes: /stops in middle of the street
/jumps around like Bluto from Animal House

whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do whatawhy do

**Online Host**
Manny has drawn the attention of the Traffic Cop.
LadyCop: boy what in the hale do you think you're doin?

MannyTheTorpedoes: drivin gars

brooooom

LadyCop: Sir, please lower your hands and show me some indentification.

MannyTheTorpedoes: /pulls out Ninja Turtles wallet from 1988

heres my dentifcation an my blogbuster cart an my subway club cart this 1 is sad bcause they don do the sub club enne more

LadyCop: "Manuel Aristides (Onelcida) Ramirez." Sir, why is one of your last names in parenthesis?
MannyTheTorpedoes: u don recanize me im the worl famous manram of the boson ray sogs
MannyTheTorpedoes: "manny being manny" perhabs youve herd of my adventures
LadyCop: Keep your comments to yourself, sir. I'm a traffic cop outside of a baseball stadium as a baseball game is getting out, it is my job to pay as much attention to what's going on as possible.
LadyCop: So you said you're famous for ramming a man?
MannyTheTorpedoes: no "manram"
LadyCop: like an amalgamation of a man and a ram? Like some kinda mutant, uh uh, I ain't even playin' with that

MannyTheTorpedoes: nooooo ugghhhh /crosses legs as if to hold pee

wheres papelbom helppp

LadyCop: Son do you know I could charge you up to $500 dollars for jaywalking?

MannyTheTorpedoes: 500 dollars

they make dollars that small now

MannyTheTorpedoes: wait hear u go

/sticks finger in ear
/digs around
/pulls $500 bill out of ear

MannyTheTorpedoes: this one has a pitcher of sam the eagle from the muppit show on it u can have it for bein a nice policema'am
LadyCop: Wow, thanks, mysterious stranger!
MannyTheTorpedoes: ok by now c ya later

MannyTheTorpedoes: /runs into parking garage

/immediately drives back out in someone's car

MannyTheTorpedoes: hong honnnnng
LadyCop: /waves goodbye

KingOfPap: /gives chase on ten-speed

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