**OnlineHost** Welcome to Indians Clubhouse Chat!

FromVictorToKelly: Okay, I'll go first, because this crap is hilarious.

Kelly Shoppach
Kelly's nickname is "Shop-vac" because he is an outstanding defensive catcher. So, fans will yell SHOOPPPPPP-VAAACCCC!

Shoppach's favorite TV show is Survivor

His favorite movie is Crimson Tide

His favorite celebrity is Ed Harris

He enjoys going to the movies

He enjoys Chocolate Glazed Donuts and was a regular fixture in Mark Bellhorn's Dunkin Donuts franchises

FromVictorToKelly: According to Wikipedia, I'm the most boring person on the entire planet

DoubleDrubal: hahaha

"kelly shoppach's favorite band is travis"

DatzSoRaven: "kelly shoppach enjoys going to starbucks"

Jhonnycakes: "kelly shoppach is actually just a glass of water with a celery stick in it"

Jhonnycakes: my turn

Jhonny Peralta
he claims that he is the only person named "Jhonny" with the name spelled correctly; all other "Johnnies" are misspelled. [1] He has refused to have it changed.

DoubleDrubal: What?

Jhonnycakes: That's right. In a societal climate that allows parents to name their kids "Ashleigh" or "Meghan" or "Morghan" or "Mheghhahhhn," I'm a jerk if I refuse to change the spelling of my name from one that makes sense within the context of the country I was born in.

DatzSoRaven: but stll, you don't have to be a jerk about it

Jhonnycakes: HOW AM I BEING A JERK ABOUT IT

DatzSoRaven: ooh! the latino passion comes out! what'd i tell you about this guy?!?

Jhonnycakes: guh

DoubleDrubal: Ahem.

Asdrubal Cabrera
Since returning to the minor leagues, Cabrera has been batting .434. This may be a sign that Cabrera is improving offensively.

FromVictorToKelly: Analysis!

BigLeagueChoo: anarysis nooooo

Jhonnycakes: Oh man, you should send this to Fire Joe Morgan.

FromVictorToKelly: Yeah, I think I will.

"Dear Ken Fremulon,

Check out this thing I found! It's a statistical note with "no doy" written all over it!

By the way, I heard you write for The Office? That's crazy! If we're being honest, my favorite character from that is Dwight. I know, I know, I'm twisted...

Anyway, I'm thinking of getting into the TV business. You think you could pass along a resume for me?

Your main man,
Special K

P.S. Jim? Pam? Friggin'. Epic."

FromVictorToKelly: and then an obviously one-time-only signature line with links to my facebook profile, a link to my boring sports blog, and "The Office Rules!"

DatzSoRaven: i'm up

Jeff Datz
There is a fan club that has been made for him called the "Datz Disciples."

DatzSoRaven: kind of creeps me out

Jhonnycakes: ahaha you're a bench coach, what does a bench coach even do

DatzSoRaven: well i put on a racist hat, go to the ballpark, sit down, kind of space out

FromVictorToKelly: And you have disciples? Are they being ironic? That's irony, right?

DatzSoRaven: what's irony

DoubleDrubal: It's a fancy way of saying "weird sarcasm"

Jhonnycakes: AHHH NO IT ISN'T

DatzSoRaven: there's that latin passion again!!!

Jhonnycakes: i hate you all