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MLB

The Dugout: Full Circle

Posted Jul 31, 2008 12:47AM By B. Thompson Stroud (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Tigers, Yankees, AL Central, AL East, MLB Transactions, The Dugout

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With all due respect to Pudge Rodriguez, nobody should give a crap about Pudge Rodriguez because the Bull of the Woods Kyle Farnsworth has been traded. It is the job of The Dugout to continue preaching the gospel of Farnsy, from his promising days as a rookie in Chicago to Detroit and Atlanta to his Golden Era in New York, and now back to Detroit, and then inevitably back to Chicago in a year or two and then the minor leagues. And then his house? We'll go back to Abraham Baldwin Agricultural College if we have to.

The fact that they traded Farnsworth for Pudge is an important part of Dugout lore, because it was the Farnsworth v. Pudge showdown in the 2003 playoffs that birthed the concept later illustrated and perfected in the Jeter/A-Rod Saga and made a regular thing on Wordupthome.com. Now we get paid to do what we love (making baseball players curse at each other), and it's all because of Kyle.

NOTICE US KYLE WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU. Somebody tell Farnsworth about this shiz before we go crazy. The most important Dugout of the year is after the jump.

The Dugout

**Online Host**
Welcome to the Monument Park Chatroom!
**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth sits alone.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: one belongs to new york instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /swigs from bottle of Boones Farm
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the thing that imprest me then as now about new york was the sharp, an at the same time immense, contrast it showt between the dull an the shrewd, the strong an the weak, the rich an the poor, the wise and the ignorent
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: the strong, or those who ultimately dominated, were so very strong, and the weak so very, very weak-- and so very, very many

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /puts in iPod earphones
/stands

/walks over to monument, looks up
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: this is for you my brother /pours out bottle of Boones Farm onto Kevin Maas Monument

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has left the chatroom.

**Online Host**
Welcome to the Detroit Tigers Chatroom!
GotMeOnMyKnees: all right Ingey, we've gotten rid of our all-star catcher of the last five seasons and destroyed every pillow in the clubhouse... you ready?
TheAngryInge: Finally! The respect I deserve! /pumps fist

GotMeOnMyKnees: being every day catcher is a big responsibility, kid, you gotta squat back there for... /drags cigarette

for a long time
TheAngryInge: No problem, if there's anything I'm good at it's "squat"
TheAngryInge: so hey, heh, if I'm "every day catcher" does that mean we've got an "every day pitcher?"

**Online Host**
VOICE (O.C.)
"you got dam right."

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth has entered the chatroom.
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: if the life of the definition of definition kyle farnsworth has truly come full circle there must be a set of rules
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: rule number the first if brandon inge so much as looks at me i'm gonna snap off his leg bone an use it to stab ugueth urbina
GotMeOnMyKnees: Urbina doesn't even play ball anymore, son, much less here... I'm Jim, I'm going to be your-
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: wheres trammell
GotMeOnMyKnees: pardon?
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: answer the question virgil earp where is coach alan trammell of your 2005 detroit tigers
GotMeOnMyKnees: God damn son, it ain't 2005 anymore, the Tigers went on ahead with the linear timeline when you left them. Time goes on without you, kid.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: augh

it does, doesn't it

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /closes eyes

/takes deep breath

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: how easily the ripe grain leaves the husk at the simple turnen of the planit

there is no season that requires us
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: oh sweet you guys have the first season of the cosby show on dvd
TheAngryInge: yeah we've had that for like three years

**Online Host**
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsworth has broken a DVD player over TheAngryInge's head.

**Online Host**
TheAngryInge has been thrown out of the chatroom by his scruff and the seat of his pants.

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /points sharpened bone

where did you say urbina went
GotMeOnMyKnees: Uh, Venezuelan prison?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /puts in iPod earphones

where is that
GotMeOnMyKnees: I don't know, Venezuela?

pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: trusting fernando venezuela was his first mistake

check mate
pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: /runs across room, leaps headfirst through window
GotMeOnMyKnees: Sigh, I liked it a hell of a lot more when we weren't ever in these chatrooms.
**Online Host**
Meanwhile, in the New York Yankees Chatroom!
JetersNeverProsper: What happened to your old screen name?
VanillaPudge: oh, well, the old SN is in reference to an article on a website called Progressive Boink where the writer is talking to then Cubs reliever Kyle Farnsworth over AIM on a cell phone
VanillaPudge: and I'm up to bat, and I get a single, so Kyle sends the message "f**k pudge singled brb," which was funny because baseball players don't usually use AIM on the field
VanillaPudge: but you can't have the f-word in your screen name when you're on AOL so I had to change it
JetersNeverProsper: that one isn't great sry 2 say
VanillaPudge: Yeah I know, but Zumaya suggested it to me like two years ago and I couldn't think of anything else
e5_rod: BOY JOO SOLT OUT aRAH WOUL NEVER LET SOMEBODY CHAINCH HER SCREEN NAME
Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Tags: brandon+inge, BrandonInge, e5_rod, gotmeonmyknees, ivan+rodriguez, IvanRodriguez, jetersneverprosper, jim+leyland, JimLeyland, kyle+farnsworth, KyleFarnsworth, pr0ff3ss0r_f4rnsw0rth, theangryinge, ugueth+urbina, UguethUrbina, vanillapudge

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