Normally, when a player spouts off nonsense and his manager is asked for comment, said manager will offer something like, "I just don't know what to say," or "he's entitled to his opinion," or something else deflective and insubstantial.
Not
Jim Leyland. You rarely see a manager turn around and give his player the business
like this.
Gary Sheffield probably isn't a moron -- we all say stupid things when we're bored and navel-gazing -- but Leyland sure made him look like one.
Today's Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
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KissTheSheff: I don't want to DH. I don't feel like a baseball player when I DH.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: You knew I was going to DH you here. If you didn't want to DH, why did you accept the trade?
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KissTheSheff: Well, uh
Platooning doesn't sit well with me.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: You're not platooning. "Platooning" is when you have a left-hand hitter and a right-hand hitter. One plays against right-hand pitching and one plays against left-hand pitching. Within the context of baseball, that is a platoon.
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KissTheSheff: Well, um
I feel that that's not what platooning means. I think it just means "playing sometimes and not playing other times."
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GotMeOnMyKnees: You're a moron.
/lights Pall Mall
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KissTheSheff: You think you're so smart. You think you can win every argument.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: /takes a drag
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KissTheSheff: I'll debate with you all day. You're not as smart as you think!
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GotMeOnMyKnees: make my day, junior
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KissTheSheff: um
"Die Hard" was a significant movie because the protagonist, John McClane, was just a regular guy.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: wrong, he was an off-duty cop in spectacular shape
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KissTheSheff: Well what you fail to realize, is,
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KissTheSheff: uh
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KissTheSheff: Why doesn't the United States switch to wind power as an alternative energy source? It's free, and it's everywhere! It's the solution that makes sense.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: incorrect; if there is indeed a viable solution to our impending energy crisis, placing all our eggs in one basket is not it. our strategy must itself be a confluence of several different strategies.
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KissTheSheff: Well, you say that, and I say to you,
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KissTheSheff: um
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KissTheSheff: eh
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KissTheSheff: There's nothing wrong with being gay, but gay marriage makes a mockery of marriage.
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GotMeOnMyKnees: wrong. divorce rates surpass 50%. regardless of your views on the matter, you must concede that heterosexual marriage has already made a mockery of marriage.
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KissTheSheff: jeeeeez
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KissTheSheff: /takes balloon out of pocket
/blows up balloon
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GotMeOnMyKnees: /pops balloon with cigarette
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KissTheSheff: awwwww
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GotMeOnMyKnees: /hammer-fists button on top of Gary Sheffield's hat
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KissTheSheff: OW OW OW GOD THAT HURTS
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Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-12-2008 @ 8:44PM
anti-everything said...
I read that all with a grin, waiting for the inevitable f4rnsw0rth gem...
...I'll keep waiting.
Reply
8-12-2008 @ 11:16PM
non-commenter said...
Best.Dougout.Ever.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 12:52PM
Jeff said...
Sheffield is a goof ball. He made some ill-advised comments last year about Hispanic players being more controllable, and now he is looking more than foolish again.
If I were him I'd cut back on my stupid public remarks, from one per year to none.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 12:52PM
Spigot said...
Man oh man, you guys know how to appeal directly to me.
eagerly awaiting Dmitri Young Die Hard dugout or similar
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 12:53PM
KnowsAll said...
Do what should've been done at the end of last years season, cut him off the team. Even if you had to pay him for not playing it sure beats having a loser / bad attitude on the team. Our manager is known to not put up with misbehaving spoiled players. Even if management irresponsibly spends ridiculous amounts of money (multi millions) on players playing a GAME. Coaches and management has to put a stop to this. Get the game back into the proper perspective to which true business is run. When your employees make more money than their President of their companies, and their owners. The player and their agents actually run the company. You know then that this atmophere is and will lead to disaster. I end this blog by saying, we the fans / supporters / providers we control their purse strings. Stop this insanity and boycott all professional sports games. Doing this will only get this situation back into realistic terms with how true business is run.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:17PM
KnowsAll said...
Do what should've been done at the end of last years season, cut him off the team. Even if you had to pay him for not playing it sure beats having a loser / bad attitude on the team. Our manager is known to not put up with misbehaving spoiled players. Even if management irresponsibly spends rediculous amounts (multi millions) on players playing a GAME. Coaches and management has to put a stop to this. Get the game back into the proper perspective to which true business is run. When your employees make more money than their President of their companies and them and their agents actually run the company you know then that this atmophere is and will lead to disaster. I end this blog by saying, we the fans / supporters / providers we control their purse strings. Stop this insanity and boycott all professional sports games. Doing this will only get this situation back into realistic terms with how true business is run.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:18PM
Mike said...
Remove him off the team. He is a bad apple spoiling the bunch. Leyland doesn't tolerate players violating his rules.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:18PM
KnowsAll said...
What happened to the Tigers managements direction on pitching? When did giving away 7 high minor leaguers two of which were your top pitching candidates to teams that gave us one pitcher that will never make it back, and one shortstop that is over the hill, and one bonafied hitter that will be our future. So, lets do a breakdown here, we got one player for the future for 7 players that very well could be in our future plans. Kinda like dejavu all over again, can we say John Smoltz (future Hall of Famer). Can we say Louis Gonzalez (one of the best Arizona players in their history). Probably others that I haven't mentioned here. History repeats itself unfortunately.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:20PM
KnowsAll said...
Detroit's management and coaches treat their fans as fools. They think by getting alot of hits the fans won't notice how bad their pitching make them. Management figures even if they break even on the season they still will get packed crowds to see their multi million dollar players play what we grew up as knowint A GAME. Detroit as well as Chicago's teams always get the fans coming to their games even though they most often never make the playoffs. Blue collar mentality rules the roost in those cities and their teams owners love it. They know how to suck the money out of avearage Americans just wanting some entertainment and not necessarily a winning team. Not like that in Los Angeles or New York teams. There the fans demand a winning philosophy. The result, they get what they want. You know why, because they would not come to the game if they didn't make the playoffs or have winning seasons.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:23PM
mike said...
I agree on everything you just said. I would vote for you to be our next baseball commissioner.
Reply
8-13-2008 @ 1:27PM
kingdonut66 said...
I've avoided the ballyard this year . . . it's easy, it's called "the dance of the broke mo-fo".
Anyway . . . spectacularly awesome dugout JB!
Reply
8-14-2008 @ 2:46AM
lcleejr said...
the reality is that after pitcher jason grilli was traded to colorado, grilli said that the mistake the tigers made was in destroying the chemistry of the team, by getting other players.
leyland knew what grilli meant, it was getting that cancer sheffield. course leyland had to defend against what grilli had said. the tigers went to the world series in 2006, then get sheffield and won't get another sniff until that big mouth is gone.
Reply
8-14-2008 @ 11:14AM
Roxy said...
Ahh... the cap-button-hammer-fist. For the sweet, all-too-brief period of time that I was taller than my little brother, that was the most powerful weapon in my arsenal. Bow before me!
Reply
8-14-2008 @ 4:19PM
Bill said...
Every time that Leyland inserted Sheffield in the lineup
he added fuel to the fire. He seemed to be the only one who thought big mouth could contribute. Poor managing.
Reply