Somebody, anybody, give Barry Bonds a job. He's an interesting character. He'll bring fans into the stadium and sell merchandise. He'll hit you at least 20 homeruns in your DH or "bench" positions. The steroids and the media circus might be a detraction, but hey, you could add Amy Winehouse to your 40-man roster and get more production in the heat of constant scandal than you'd get from, say, Andy Marte. Andy Marte couldn't hit .200 if he had all season. Barry could probably do it in one game!

Whether or not he's good for baseball is irrelevant. He's good for The Dugout. MLB, pretend you're the NBA for a minute and put him on whatever team needs "stars." While you're at it, put Pete Rose in the Hall of Fame. And come up with about 12 new words that rhyme with "stained" or "game."

Is Barry Bonds retired? I'm not sure! Let's ask him! Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

(spoiler: no)