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Maddon08: Zim, things are great in Tampa Bay! |
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ZimmerDownFellas: hep hep hep, you said it baws |
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Maddon08: We're almost five games up on the Sox, I updated my screen name, all the orange drink we can stomach... |
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Maddon08: Manny's out of the AL East, the Yankees are struggling, the O's are terrible, the Blue Jays don't exist... |
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Maddon08: We're getting a new stadium, new uniforms, and next year we're shortening the name and becoming the "Tamp Ays!" It's great! Nothing can go wrong for us. |
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ZimmerDownFellas: snorf, "tamp ays" is what the oaklan wives use on their doodles during their thing |
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Maddon08: what |
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**Online Host**
Crawfish has entered the chatroom! |
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Crawfish: hey coach I need your help, something's wrong with my finger, I can't move it |
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Maddon08: Oh God, what happened? |
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Crawfish: we were playing the Mariners right, and in the 10th inning Ichiro was givin me a look so I tried to type some Japanese at him and broke my finger |
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Crawfish: I just heard something pop and I'm afraid I'm messed up bad and might miss the rest of the season  |
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Maddon08: we can't let you sit out the rest of the season, Carl, we need you in the lineup! You seem to be typing okay with a broken finger! |
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Crawfish: that's because this isn't Carl typing, this is Rocco Baldelli typing on Carl's account. |
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Maddon08: Rocco?? Where the hell have you been?? |
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Crawfish: my computer has a virus |
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Maddon08: Rocco you are a millionaire, go to the Best Buy and buy yourself a goddamned computer and get back in my lineup |
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Maddon08: Carl, you rest up, and the next time Ichiro shoots you the stank-eye, get Iwamura to come to your house and type on your account, or however the hell this is supposed to work |
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**Online Host**
Crawfish has left the chatroom. |
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Maddon08: Kids today. Too much technology, that's their problem! |
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ZimmerDownFellas: guffaw, when i was a boy i had to affix the beads of an abacus and throw it from my window to instant message my chums |
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Maddon08: you couldn't have just yelled out of the window at them |
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ZimmerDownFellas: yeah well you have a telephone and use it to type to people, couldn't you just use the telephone part to call them if you wanted to talk to them |
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Maddon08: good point |
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**Online Host**
evan_longoria has entered the chatroom! |
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Maddon08: boy you are the best player on our team, why is your screen name just your name |
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evan_longoria: k; ;kyhf p;sh;olhyi ;yh |
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Maddon08: you could be "AllDogsGoToEvan," or "MyBlueEvan"... really you could go anywhere, the only thing I've got is the damn John Madden games |
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evan_longoria: bro ke wrist have 2 hunt n peck |
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Maddon08: WHAT
TELL ME YOU'RE [defecating] ME!
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evan_longoria: no sry
fku cing mariners
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Maddon08: All right, calm down, I can't understand what you're saying
what I want you to do is pick up the telephone with your good hand
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Maddon08: see if that makess typing easier |
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**Online Host**
evan_longoria has gone idle. |
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Maddon08: /types "HELLO? HELLO?" into telephone, sends |
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Maddon08: This is terrible. First Carl gets hurt, and then Evan and tells me THIS! |
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ZimmerDownFellas: and now you know- |
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ZimmerDownFellas: the wrist of the story |
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Maddon08: /falls down |
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**Online Host**
percival_war has entered the chatroom. |
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percival_war: hey coach, I hate to keep piling on the bad news but I am Troy Percival, so I'm going to be out for the rest of Raygust |
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percival_war: I might be able to come back during Tamptember, but more than likely I'll be out until Octobay |
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Maddon08: did you injure yourself trying to work our team name into the months of the year |
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percival_war: no sir I blew out my knee
I'm raying for a speedy recovery, but even God can't always stop the workings of the Devil
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percival_war: rrrrraysss |
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**Online Host**
percival_war has been kicked from the chatroom! |
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Maddon08: all right. /removes cap, wipes brow
All right. I'm wearing Lizzie McGuire's mom's glasses but even I can see that we'll be okay
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Maddon08: Rocco can come back and play for Carl. Evan is a big loss, but we can stick Aybar at third until we know what we're up against... |
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ZimmerDownFellas: an you got that hockey goalie what can pitch the relief |
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Maddon08: /grabs Zimmer by head
/hurls him to ground |
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ZimmerDownFellas: boooh |
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GoldBonds: excuse me gentle men but barry bonds happent to be lurking in this chatroom and heard that your line up was busted up |
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GoldBonds: it is none other than barry bonds who has the tonic for what ails you |
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GoldBonds: for you see baseball is music an the crack a the bat is the melody
a pop up sounds thin, a line drive resounds fully and deeply
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GoldBonds: home runs echo... when you been listenin to the sounds of bats all your life you can hear the echo |
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Maddon08: What does your swing sound like? |
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GoldBonds: a cash register opening, an then somebody throwin up into the cash register |
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GoldBonds: barry bonds can play dh until that lady from disparate housewifes gets better |
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Maddon08: that's nice of you to offer, but our hole is at third base, Evan plays third. |
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GoldBonds: oh okay well i can play bench for you until your dh learns how to play third and then i can play your dh
/makes "call me" hand gesture, points to Maddon
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Maddon08: that's... that's nice, but no, no thank you |
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GoldBonds: aight well if you dont want barry bonds for dh you can have fun grabbin his big head and throwin him down onto the ground for a small fee |
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Maddon08: no, sorry, that position is filled as well |
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ZimmerDownFellas: /rolls into ditch |
"Mr. Longoria! Do you think that the 2008 Rays are the 69 Mets in disguise?"
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-18-2008 @ 5:23AM
Neal said...
Aaaaaahahahaha, this Dugout was full of so much gold. I can't wait for Tamptember.
Reply
8-18-2008 @ 10:24AM
Simon! said...
"Gaston is trying to stab the Beast to death."
SevernWonders: Why are you doing this? This is wrong!
CitoHisPants: FROM HELL'S HEART
Reply
8-18-2008 @ 4:32PM
Donut King said...
evan_longoria: k; ;kyhf p;sh;olhyi ;yh
Ouch! That HAS to be more painful to read than it is to watch happen.
Reply
8-19-2008 @ 6:14PM
Josh said...
10 mins of my life I will never get back.
Reply
8-26-2008 @ 6:42PM
Joe Notarangelo said...
If the Rays and White Sox meet in the playoffs, what I'd like to see from Balfour is one right in AJ's ear. Can't count on MLB to make it right. Joe, you could bring him in just for this one at bat. Yeah, you're damn right I'm mad.
JoeNo
Reply