The Dugout: Nothing To Do In L.A.

The Los Angeles Dodgers and the Playoffs are SERIOUS BUSINESS.

Players are having disputes with announcers, trades are being made, statistics are being used to support and argue and build and destroy. Futures are being planned. Hair is either being cut or not being cut, we aren't quite sure. Is there going to be a happy ending?

Today's Dugout, one man's point of view, is after the jump.

The Dugout

	BeimelRage: honnnkkk /blows nose into hankie
	EthierOr: You all right, Joe?
	BeimelRage: ugh i've got a dry cough, a fever, a headache, and i'm super tired. i've been blowin' my nose all day
	BeimelRage: i don't know what's wrong with me i think maybe its food poisoning
	EthierOr: "Think flu."
	Online Host BeimelRage has left the chatroom.
	EthierOr: Damn, there is nothing to do today. Maybe Jeff wants to watch some Fresh Prince with me?
	EthierOr: /logs into Dodger Stadium Chatroom
	Online Host Welcome to the Dodger Stadium Chatroom!
	EthierOr: Hey Jeff, sorry to bug you, I was just bored and I thought you'd want to-
	KentHardlyWait: You talk too much, old man!
	VehicleIdentificationNumber: In a year that has been so improbable, the impossible has happened. Jeff Kent has opened his fat mouth!
	KentHardlyWait: Manny only had 20 home runs before he came to the Dodgers! Now he's got 26! That means I'm helping!
	VehicleIdentificationNumber: No pitcher who has ever lived is going to want to walk you to get to Manny. That means you're getting better pitches!
	KentHardlyWait: You don't know me! You don't know Derek Lowe!
	VehicleIdentificationNumber: Every good thing that happens to the Dodgers is because of Manny Ramirez!
	KentHardlyWait: Every good thing that happens to the Dodgers is because of ME!
	VehicleIdentificationNumber: Forget it!
	EthierOr: uh, you guys are busy so I uh I'll go see if coach wants me to do anything /logs out /logs into Coach's Office Chatroom
	Online Host Welcome to Coach's Office Chatroom!
	EthierOr: Coach, I-
	Torreumon: Quiet Andre, I'm in the middle of a meeting.
	Torreumon: Soooo! Heh heh. What do you think of this whole "Brett Favre" thing?
	JetersNeverProsper: I don't follow football.
	Torreumon: That's a shame, football is a great... /picks nose You ever think about what yer gonna do when yer contract is up?
	JetersNeverProsper: My contract isn't up until 2056. When I signed it they put it in a time capsule and buried it to be discovered by the future's participants in Nickelodeon's "Big Help"
	Torreumon: I heard about that. You check the papers today? /tosses New York Times down in front of Jeter
	JetersNeverProsper: Hm? /reads "Brian Cashman Digs Up Time Capsule? PUTS DELLIN BETANCES INTO CAPSULE, REBURIES CAPSULE?"
	Torreumon: You're gonna get to the future, but there will be curveballs along the way
	JetersNeverProsper: /rests forehead on desk but... but I'm supposed to be a Yankee for life
	JetersNeverProsper: wuh wuh we go together like Elton and David!
	Torreumon: Andre, Mr. Jeter here is under some stress, could you run outside and put some more money in the meter?
	EthierOr: Jeter parked at a meter?
	Torreumon: yeah and he's got another 48 years on his contract so it's gonna be there for a while
	EthierOr: Hey, who says Meters Never Prosper?
	Torreumon: ...
	JetersNeverProsper: ...
	EthierOr: mumbles under breath /logs off /logs onto the Outside of Dodger Stadium Chatroom
	Online Host Welcome to the Outside of Dodger Stadium Chatroom!
	EthierOr: Either of you guys know where Jeter parked?
	e5_rod: MANNY JOOR PORKING ATTENDANT IS TALKINGK TO ME
	MannyBoutTown: Just give him a dollar, he'll go away.
	e5_rod: WHATS A DOLLOR I ONLY HAF HUNDRETS IS THAT OGAY
	EthierOr: yep /takes hundred dollar bill
	e5_rod: MANNY ARE JOO EXCITIT TO PLAY FOR THE HOLEYWOOD TEEM
	MannyBoutTown: It's fantastic. When I'm done with my playing career I can segue that into an acting career!
	e5_rod: OOooOOOOH! DO JOO WANT TO BE THE LEADINGK MAN
	MannyBoutTown: Sure! Why not?
	e5_rod: DO JOO WANT TO BE IN AGTION MOVIES
	MannyBoutTown: Of course! /flexes muscles
	e5_rod: DO JOO WANT TO PLAY TREASURE HUNTERS AND SOOPER HEROES
	MannyBoutTown: I'm going to play all kinds of roles.
	e5_rod: DO JOO WANT TO PLAY SPIES
	MannyBoutTown: .... get out
	e5_rod: WHASS THE MATTER HONEY WHAT DID aRAH SAY
	MannyBoutTown: GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!
	EthierOr: man nuts to this, Jeter can have his Beetle towed, I don't give a rip
	Online Host Welcome to the Lonely Clubhouse Chatroom!
	EthierOr: playing for the Dodgers used to be so much fun, but now everything is just so... sighh /sits down on bench
	EthierOr: /hangs hat /takes down picture of Troy From West Virginia from locker
	EthierOr: I guess I'll just watch these DVDs by myself.
	Online Host VOICE (O.C.) "Hey!"
	maddux.xmission.com: Can we watch the episode where Will and Carlton drive to Palm Springs and get sent to jail?
	EthierOr: Oh... hey! I was... I was just...
	maddux.xmission.com: singing "When Israel was in Egypts land!"
	EthierOr: "Let my people go!"
	maddux.xmission.com: /hugs
	EthierOr: /hugs

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

8-19-2008 @ 1:59PM

pstargalac said...

God almighty, you guys are on fire

8-19-2008 @ 2:59PM

Donut King said...

So B, does this mean MadDog can find out from Manny how dog tastes?:

http://dugout.progressiveboink.com/archive/b93.html

I lean toward the affirmative.

8-19-2008 @ 3:56PM

KingGreat said...

No Beetle. Jeter...that guy's got an Edge.

8-19-2008 @ 4:10PM

Jade said...

You beat me to that one. Man, I HATE those ads.

http://www.sportsbastards.com

8-19-2008 @ 4:40PM

The Hit Dog said...

Manny's truly lost his soul out in L.A. if he doesn't want to play spies anymore. The arrival of a playmate for Ethier, I have to say, made me genuinely go "Awwww."

8-19-2008 @ 4:53PM

Amanda said...

Kent vs. Scully and the return of the Mad Dog in one Dugout? Absolutely superb. I laughed, I cried. A+++ would read again.

8-19-2008 @ 5:06PM

pitchcount said...

This was basically the first thing I thought of when I heard Maddux was going back to the Dodgers.

8-22-2008 @ 12:23AM

Jim said...

Absolutely. Maddux! Ethier! Together again!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKlxjbhB9HE

Woooooooo!!

8-19-2008 @ 7:02PM

Gleebo said...

You guys ever consider taking requests or polls to possible future dugouts?

Being that he's associated with the KC Royals organization almost assures that there won't be more than one or two AP stories Pecota can be naturally worked into over the course of a season.

Can't you guys pull a "Friends" and just scatter him throughout any scene(chatroom) with no logical explanation given or even addressed outside of it being BlogSweeps week?