**OnlineHost** Welcome to 30-30 Club Chat!

biscuits_and_grady: I made it! I made it! I knew I'd get here!

WillAmaze: Whoa, take it down a notch, Junior. Trying to chill out in here.

hank_you_very_much: Yeah, we try to keep this club pretty low-key. Come on, have a seat.

biscuits_and_grady: Come on, guys, I was expecting a party! Let's get some chicks in here! Let's start a nuclear war on the dance floor!

hank_you_very_much: a what

WillAmaze: What do you even want to celebrate? Why do you care about going 30-30?

biscuits_and_grady: If you hit 30 home runs and steal 30 bases, it indicates that you are a well-rounded offensive threat!

hank_you_very_much: I guess. I mean, if you steal 30 bases on top of hitting 30 home runs, that's 150 total bases instead of 120.

WillAmaze: Not bad, but it hardly warrants a nuclear war on the dance floor.

hank_you_very_much: Yeah, that's more "conventional-arms warfare on the living room floor" territory.

WillAmaze: or a bayonet skirmish in a grassy field

hank_you_very_much: or just two guys in a dirt hole bludgeoning each other with jagged rocks

biscuits_and_grady: You guys don't get it! I'm well-rounded! I can hit home runs and steal bases!

WillAmaze: Looks like we have a real renaissance man here, Hank.

hank_you_very_much: Yep! I mean, I can hit home runs and steal bases and serve as a civil rights icon and write a book and run a baseball team in a front-office capacity and serve as vice president for a major corporation and win the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

hank_you_very_much: But yeah, sonny, you're really getting my pants wet.

/sips wine

biscuits_and_grady: Screw you guys! I'm gonna join the 40-40 club! Screw you guys!

**OnlineHost** Welcome to October 1st Chat!

biscuits_and_grady: /hits 40th home runs

/steals 40th base

AWRIIIGHT

**OnlineHost** Welcome to 40-40 Club Chat!

biscuits_and_grady: WOO PARTY

/looks around

**OnlineHost** Burlesque dancers contort their bodies within cages hung from the ceiling. "Push It To The Limit" blares from speakers.

Soriano_4_2004: /pounds 9th shot of bourbon

so like, what i'm wondering man, is

e5_rod: /sips wine cooler through crazy straw

mmmMMMMM?

Soriano_4_2004: why are all the gay guys who come into these chatrooms just flamboyantly gay

Soriano_4_2004: like, why isn't there some player who is a realistic gay man and not some hyperbolic caricature

e5_rod: WHY DO JOO ASK, ARE JOO LOOKINK FOR A PARDNER

skip: nope, but i don't have to be gay to be a little unsettled by it

it's like it's a play written by 13-year-olds or something

biscuits_and_grady: /looks over to dance floor

GoldBonds: /slouched against wall, ties off arm

YES_way_jose: /punches steroid needle into vein

GoldBonds: maaaan

dont hit that stuff too fast, you'll tap out one of these days

YES_way_jose: nahhhhhh

nahhhh i'm good, i'm good

GoldBonds: i'm tryin to school you son

you just don't wanna know