Sometimes we're contractually obligated to cover a story. bud_is_wiser sends me an IM saying "okay I set it all up for you, just copy and paste it into Blogsmith."
In case you didn't see it earlier,
Being a normal human being who hates the Yankees and the Red Sox I really don't care what happens to their fans, but when I click a YouTube video and see the combined will of Carl and Harriet Winslow grabbing a lady by her hair at Yankee Stadium I go "oh, ha" and here we are. The original plot of tonight's Dugout involved Ted Jones, but srsly lol who cares about todd jones.
Tonight's end of Summer Dugz is after the jump.
The Dugout
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FemaleFan: F*** YOU F*** YOU BITCH YOU ARE A BITCH YOU ARE THE F*** OF A BITCH |
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LadyCop: woman i weigh upwards of 380 pounds do not make me walk up two flights of stairs to snatch your ass |
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FemaleFan: THIS IS AMERICA THIS IS AMERICA /does the sassy lady finger point and head shake |
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LadyCop: oh no she didn't /puffs up chest |
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LadyCop: MA'AM LISTEN TO ME THIS SEASON I HAVE BEEN UPPERCUTTED BY THE COMMISSIONER OF BASEBALL, I HAVE BEEN THROWED IN A WOOD CHIPPER, I HAVE BEEN DRUGGED THROUGH THE SEWERS BY THE LIZARD, AND WHEN I COAXED SCOTT SPIEZIO OUT OF A CLOSET I ENDED UP IN A CONFUSING R&B LOVE OCTAGON THAT INCLUDED A HIDDEN MIDGET |
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LadyCop: DO NOT THINK I WILL HESITATE TO EXECUTE YOU RIGHT HERE IN FRONT OF DEREK JETER'S FINE ASS |
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FemaleFan: F*** YOU F**** TO YOU /throws elbows |
| **Online Host** FemaleFan is lightly elbowing the hell out of the LadyCop. |
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LadyCop: ARE YOU READY NOW TO WITNESS A POWER NOT SEEN FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS |
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LadyCop: /kamehameha
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FemaleFan: OH YEAH BEATEN ME UP WHILE I'M HANCUFFED WHAT DOES THIS SAY ABOUT YOUR POWER LEVEL |
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LadyCop: IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAANDDDDD /throws FemaleFan down the steps |
| **Online Host** FemaleFan has been ejected from the chatroom. |
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LadyCop: /wipes off hands All right, now everybody in this section can enjoy the singing of "America the Beautiful" in peace. |
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MaleFan: /quietly gets out of seat |
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LadyCop: excuse me sir, where do you think you're going |
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MaleFan: I uh /looks around I have to go pee? |
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LadyCop: you have to go pee sir are you aware that "America the Beautiful" is being performed in this particular baseball stadium at this time |
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MaleFan: I just have to go and don't want to miss any of the game, this is the last time we'll- |
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LadyCop: sir are you aware of the particular disrespect involved in disposing urine from the urinary bladder through the urethra to the outside of the body during the performing of "America the Beautiful" |
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MaleFan: I wasn't trying to- |
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LadyCop: /speaks into walkie talkie this is LadyCop requesting backup, I have ascertained a particular individual who thinks he all that, particular individual has given me reason to believe he thinks he is additionally a bag of chips... |
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MaleFan: What are you talking about, the- |
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LadyCop: SIR SIR SIR I am going to have to ask you to lower your voice |
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MaleFan: the Bronx is burning, lady, will you let me pee? |
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LadyCop: SIR SIR /pepper sprays |
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MaleFan: AAAH AAAAH |
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LadyCop: now upstate New York is burning sir, would you like for me to check and see if Buffalo is burning as well |
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MaleFan: /thinks for a second oh god, that would make buffalo the |
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LadyCop: the butthole, sir /holds up pepper spray |
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MaleFan: /sits back down |
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LadyCop: THATS IT /hammerblows MaleFan in dome with billy club |
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MaleFan: gaaaahhggg |
| **Online Host** MaleFan has been ejected from the chatroom. |
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LadyCop: ANYBODY ELSE WANNA TRY TO HAVE A BODILY FUNCTION WHILE KATHARINE LEE BATES' MAGNUM OPUS IS BEING PERFORMED /holds up billy club ANYBODY |
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e5_rod: AY CYOOS ME COUL JOO PEOPLE UP THERE PLEA BE QUIET aRAH IS TRYINGK TO CONDCENTRATE |
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LadyCop: /leans over railing oh I'm sorry did I break your concentration |
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e5_rod: I AM TRYINGK TO CLEAN MY BAT AN GET READY FOR THE NEX INNINGK |
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LadyCop: it must be pretty lonely down there in the dugout, huh alex, since everybody else on the team got left on base |
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LadyCop: what is that, four different guys standing on third base, wandering around during America the Beautiful, been out there so long they forgot what they was doin |
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e5_rod: WHO ARE JOO TO DOUT aRAH |
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LadyCop: boy if you don't start getting some base hits I am gonna snatch you up by your weave an run you headfirst into a battering ram |
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e5_rod: JESUS WHAT IS IT WITH THESE NEW YORG CITY COPS |
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LadyCop: you gotta be tough |
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
8-29-2008 @ 7:10AM
Chris Troutman said...
Dugout for 'teh win'!!!!1!!!!!!!ELEVEN!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!!1!!!!!
Reply
8-29-2008 @ 11:49AM
Barclay said...
NEDM could save the yankees now...
Reply
8-29-2008 @ 12:38PM
kyon said...
Best Dugout ever
Reply
8-29-2008 @ 3:39PM
Queenie said...
LadyCop has gotten a whole lot edgier after her previous experiences, though I suppose surviving the Young brothers is enough to toughen a woman up. I think I like her better this way.
Reply
8-29-2008 @ 10:11PM
JohnnyComeLately said...
"it must be pretty lonely down there in the dugout, huh alex, since everybody else on the team got left on base"
True story unfortunately...
Can I put out an Amber Alert on the Yankees offense?
...or maybe one looking for A-Rod's balls in a game changing situation. Make sure they check Jeter's ass just in case.
Reply
8-29-2008 @ 10:41PM
Roar of the Tigers said...
I care about Todd Jones. :/
Reply