From The Windup is FanHouse's daily, extended look at a particular portion of America's pastime.
I don't know if you've been paying attention, but there are some things going on in this country right now that are far more important than whether or not the Cubs will win the World Series, or whether New York will collapse on itself should the Yankees miss the playoffs.
No, I'm not talking about the new Beverly Hills 90210 - though it's nice to see Lori Loughlin getting work - I'm talking about the upcoming election for President of the United States. Yeah, you've probably noticed in the last few weeks that all your favorite crappy sitcoms and celebrity dancing shows haven't been on in favor of a bunch of people giving speeches in front of sycophants. We call these the Democratic and Republican National Conventions.
For the first time in my life, I've paid pretty close attention to both of these conventions this year. You see, even though I've never been shy about my feelings about this country of ours, and those who have been chosen to run it, I've never actually exercised my right to be a factor in the decision.
That's right, at 27 years of age, I have never voted in a single election. Not for President, not for Governor, not even for Student Council President in high school. So when November 4th rolls around in two months, I will be stepping into a voting booth for the first time, and though I'm somewhat excited about it, I still face a pretty tough question.
Just who am I voting for?
Now on the surface, it would seem pretty obvious. After all, as any of you who read FanHouse regularly are well aware of, I'm a Chicago White Sox fan. You know who else is a White Sox fan? That's right, Barack Obama. So at first glance, Barack seems like a slam dunk to get my vote.
Finally, after spending my entire life toiling in the shadow that is the Chicago Cubs and their amazing ability to not win anything, I have a chance to put a White Sox fan into the most powerful position in our country. Having Obama run the country would surely be the final step towards making the White Sox the most important baseball team in the city of Chicago. Only Barack can finish the job that the 2005 World Series started.Barack has already started the War on Cubdom, beginning his shock and awe campaign with an opening salvo delivered at the flip-flop wearing, yuppie masses of Wrigley Field when he did an interview with ESPN's Stuart Scott.
"I'm not one of these fair weather fans," Barack said. "You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there. People aren't watching the game. It's not serious. White Sox, that's baseball. Southside."
You tell them, Barack! It's about time somebody informed Cubs fans how pointless their existence really is. Of course, there was some concern that these statements could cost Obama the votes of more than a few Cubs fans, but Illinois is a blue state, and a few pissed off Cubs fans aren't going to change that. Instead, his comments will probably earn him a few more votes from Cardinals fans in Missouri, which could end up being an important swing state in the election (Seriously, how scary is it that a question from Stuart Scott could end up having an impact on the leader of the free world?).
So with all these reasons for a White Sox fan to vote for Obama, how does John McCain even have a chance to win my vote? Well, my fellow Americans, I'm a real White Sox fan. I don't do the wave (an epidemic has broken out at U.S. Cellular Field recently), I hate Jay Mariotti, I question every single move Kenny Williams makes because I think I'm smarter than he is (I'm not), and I love A.J. Pierzynski.
Still, there's a misconception about real White Sox fans that I'd like to clear up. The Chicago Cubs are not our arch-enemy. Though we generally don't enjoy all the attention that they get, they aren't our competition on the baseball field.
No, for the real White Sox fan, public enemy #1 is the Minnesota Twins. Real White Sox fans have a hatred for the Twins that burns hotter than a thousand suns. We despise that rag-tag group of Little League rejects (this excludes Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau) who somehow keep winning every year despite the fact that they totally suck (it's pretty obvious that Ron Gardenhire has photos of Bud Selig in a compromising position, it's the only logical explanation).This is where John McCain comes into play.
Right now the White Sox are battling to hold off the hated Twins in the AL Central division. As of this morning, the Sox hold a one and a half game lead over Minnesota, and that's something the Sox owe McCain some credit for.
You see, over the last few weeks, the White Sox haven't been playing very well. The bullpen is an adventure every night, and since August 21st the team has gone 5-7. They've actually gained a game and a half on the Twins during that span.
Why? Because the Minnesota Twins have been off on the longest road trip in the organization's history, as they hit up the cities of Los Angeles, Seattle, Oakland, and Toronto on a 14-game trip. Their record on the trip was 5-9.
The reason the Twins were on that 14-game road trip, by the way, was due to the arrival of the previously mentioned Republican National Convention in Minnesota. The Republican candidate that everybody is there to see?
John McCain.
So, in a way, if it wasn't for John McCain the White Sox could find themselves three or four games behind the Twins in the standings right now. Add that to the fact that the Sox have to visit Minnesota for a three-game set later this month, where they've gone 1-5 this season (conversely, the Sox are 7-2 against Minnesota at home), and a three game deficit right now would probably be too much to overcome.
Of course, there's also the fact that McCain's running mate, Sarah Palin, might be able to sway some Sox fans his way as well. With the recent news that Palin's un-wed teenage daughter is pregnant, I can think of at least two White Sox fans who will be voting for him.But the question still is: Who am I going to vote for?
A lot could change between today and November 4th. The White Sox could clinch the division, or they could fall out of the race entirely. Hell, they could win the World Series for the second time in four years (if this happens, there's no longer any question, I'm voting for Ozzie Guillen).
Right now the edge goes to Barack Obama because if he's elected, he'll still be a White Sox fan, and he'll still be running the country. If McCain wins, I don't think he'll be even remotely concerned about the state of the White Sox.
Of course, as I said earlier, I'm a real White Sox fan. So if it's pretty apparent that Obama isn't going to win by the time election day rolls around, I won't even show up at the voting booth. Supporting a loser has always been more of a north side thing.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
9-05-2008 @ 9:34AM
Jen said...
What a fabulous article! You just made my day!
I am going to the game tonight! GO SOX!!!!!!!
Reply
9-05-2008 @ 9:34AM
Trogdor said...
Well, if you live in Illinois, it genuinely makes no difference who you vote for. If it's actually close, your vote will - through the wonder of Illinois political alchemy - be magically transformed into a vote for Obama. Or if it's already for Obama, it will be transformed into three votes for Obama. So don't worry about it and vote for whoever you want - I'm probably writing in "Inanimate Carbon Rod" myself - and go home confidently knowing that this is one state where your vote truly does not count.
Reply
9-05-2008 @ 1:06PM
Critical thinker said...
iN THE MORNING AFTER FRENZY OF CHARGE COUNTER CHARGE THAT IS THE FOLLOW UP TO THE REPUBLICAN SPIN FEST I MUST SAY THAT YOUR ARTICLE WAS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR. AS FOR MY CHOICE--WELL I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH AN AVERAGE HOCKEY MOM AND SINCE I AM MARRIED TO A SUPERIOR SOCCER MOM FROM THE SOUTHSIDE OF CHICAGO I WILL VOTE FOR AN ILLIN OIS FAVORITE SON AND LOOK FORWARD,NOT BACKWARD
Reply
9-05-2008 @ 1:06PM
1954 said...
A real Sox fan goes for the sexy librarian.
Reply
9-05-2008 @ 1:16PM
Tom Fornelli said...
This was true before 2005, when good looking women at Sox games were a rarity. Since then though the talent level has risen, and we no longer need to jump after every hot piece we see.
Besides, basing my vote on which candidates I'd rather sleep with is the subject of next week's column.
9-05-2008 @ 9:20PM
Jason said...
It really comes down to 2 questions :
Do you want to hand your paycheck over to a 40-something year old who promises to change the world while spending the federal deficit into oblivion?
or!
Do you want to go to war against every country that looks at the US the wrong way for the rest of time?
Compelling choices!!!
Reply
9-07-2008 @ 11:02PM
Jwf2166 said...
Aaaah. Poor White Sox fans. Now, normally I hate wasting my time on things like this, but I'm just going to say that I'm a longtime Cubs fan and yes, I will be voting for Obama. Despite his questionable taste in teams. I'm not a hater and I don't like bashing the White Sox... only their owner and some of their fans. Yes, the Cubs are the champions when it comes to losing streaks. But in the last few years most White Sox fans forget who had the second longest championship drought in sports history. Yes, it was the White sox. 88 years. Hardly makes you guys experts on winning baseball. Just a lucky byproduct of Kenny Williams' throw it against the wall and see what sticks style of player acquisition with what little money Jerry "I inherited Michael Jordan but organizations win championships" Reinsdorf allots him. Still, it counts and congratulations always.
I just have to laugh at how even after winning it all, you guys are still jealous of the attention the Cubs receive. Who cares? If you live in Chicago, you know that Sox fans check the scoreboards to see first, if the Cubs lost, and then second if the Sox won. To me, the Sox are like the Seattle Mariners... I don't care what they do. If they win, good for you. If they lose, better luck next time. But getting back to Obama... I encourage all true baseball fans, both Sox and Cubs fans alike to vote for this dynamic young man. Sox fans criticize Cubs fans for not knowing baseball and getting drunk instead of watching the game. I'm here to say that those aren't Cubs fans! Those are mostly the recently college-graduated and spoiled children of the rich and wealthy who have gentrified our beautiful park much like they have gentrified the neighborhood around it, making it impossible for real, long-suffering Cubs fans like myself to be able to afford going to a game, let alone afford the ridiculously overpriced bars and restaurants in the surrounding neighborhood. McCain is a republican. The party that hordes 90% of the wealth in this country and then tries to get poor white people to blame it all on African Americans and Latinos. Vote for Obama White Sox fans. Maybe he can help us working class types to gain back at least a little bit of the wealth that the Bush republicans have stolen from us over the last eight years. Vote Obama before it's too late. If you don't, you just might have Yuppies invading your beloved Comiske.. er, ah Cellular-ville and park, flipping houses and parking their BMW's and Volvos everywhere. Vote Obama, because doesn't he really represent what both Cubs and Sox fans can appreciate?... that even the underdog can win one every once in a while??
Reply
9-07-2008 @ 11:04PM
Jwf2166 said...
Aaaah. Poor White Sox fans. Now, normally I hate wasting my time on things like this, but I'm just going to say that I'm a longtime Cubs fan and yes, I will be voting for Obama. Despite his questionable taste in teams. I'm not a hater and I don't like bashing the White Sox... only their owner and some of their fans. Yes, the Cubs are the champions when it comes to losing streaks. But in the last few years most White Sox fans forget who had the second longest championship drought in sports history. Yes, it was the White sox. 88 years. Hardly makes you guys experts on winning baseball. Just a lucky byproduct of Kenny Williams' throw it against the wall and see what sticks style of player acquisition with what little money Jerry "I inherited Michael Jordan but organizations win championships" Reinsdorf allots him. Still, it counts and congratulations always.
I just have to laugh at how even after winning it all, you guys are still jealous of the attention the Cubs receive. Who cares? If you live in Chicago, you know that Sox fans check the scoreboards to see first, if the Cubs lost, and then second if the Sox won. To me, the Sox are like the Seattle Mariners... I don't care what they do. If they win, good for you. If they lose, better luck next time. But getting back to Obama... I encourage all true baseball fans, both Sox and Cubs fans alike to vote for this dynamic young man. Sox fans criticize Cubs fans for not knowing baseball and getting drunk instead of watching the game. I'm here to say that those aren't Cubs fans! Those are mostly the recently college-graduated and spoiled children of the rich and wealthy who have gentrified our beautiful park much like they have gentrified the neighborhood around it, making it impossible for real, long-suffering Cubs fans like myself to be able to afford going to a game, let alone afford the ridiculously overpriced bars and restaurants in the surrounding neighborhood. McCain is a republican. The party that hordes 90% of the wealth in this country and then tries to get poor white people to blame it all on African Americans and Latinos. Vote for Obama White Sox fans. Maybe he can help us working class types to gain back at least a little bit of the wealth that the Bush republicans have stolen from us over the last eight years. Vote Obama before it's too late. If you don't, you just might have Yuppies invading your beloved Comiske.. er, ah Cellular-ville and park, flipping houses and parking their BMW's and Volvos everywhere. Vote Obama, because doesn't he really represent what both Cubs and Sox fans can appreciate?... that even the underdog can win one every once in a while??
Reply