MLB

Squirrel Proves To Be National Pastime's Most Determined Menace

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Lots of things have threatened the MOST AMERICAN SPORT OF THEM ALL lately -- steroids, Bud Selig discussing steroids, Roger Clemens taking steroids, and steroids. Also, HGH, kind of.

But nothing is more dangerous to our nation's official pastime than the random wanderings of a squirrel in left-center field. Oh, you think that sounds innocent and cute, but that fur-covered weapon is two full pounds of unrestrained fury:



Look at him ducking! Look at his evasive manuevers! This squirrel is trained in the finest of fake-government-agent acting techniques. Tom Cruise would be proud. But let's just pray he's on our side.

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