|
**Online Host**
Welcome to the San Francisco Giants Front Office Chatroom!
|
 |
RideTheSabean: Mr. Neukom! It's great to see you, please, come in. Everyone's excited about you "comin' aboard" next month!
|
 |
DukeNeukom: well hopefully my 40+ years as a popcorn magnate will give me the experience necessary t'run a baseball squad! |
|
RideTheSabean: A ha ha! Well, I'm sure you'll do "great!" Let me introduce you to everyone. |
|
RideTheSabean: Of course you know me, I'm general manager Brian Sabean, I mainly focus on aquiring the oldest players available. You'll want to keep me around for another season. I'm baseball's David Morse! |
|
DukeNeukom: ho ho, well I don't know about that, but you know how the old saying goes, "don't trust anyone under 30!" /adjusts bowtie |
|
DukeNeukom: How'd you build such a third-winningest franchise, Brian? |
|
RideTheSabean: Well... uh, well, I gotta be honest with you, sir. /tugs collar |
|
RideTheSabean: I'm in some ways partially responsible for building the Giants around one player, Barry Bonds, for the last... let's say, elevenish years. |
|
DukeNeukom: Hm, I see. |
|
RideTheSabean: Our fans are represented in this chatroom by a 65 x 90 picture of a horse's rear end, and it is my duty to be the voice of those people. |
|
RideTheSabean: /flips to page in back of clipboard
This is Mario Alioto, Senior Vice President, Corporate Marketing.
|
 |
AliotoFagina: Nice to meet you. |
|
RideTheSabean: Mario takes care of our corporate signage, broadcasting, publications, that sort of thing. |
|
DukeNeukom: That's a lot of meats on your plate young man, how do you get it all done? |
|
AliotoFagina: For a while I would just show someone a picture of Barry Bonds, they would react to it positively/negatively, and then I'd build around that. |
|
AliotoFagina: Every time someone says "Barry Bonds" we get three dollars. We now have enough sponsorship revenue to pilot a manned mission to the Horsehead Nebula. |
|
DukeNeukom: That's amazing! What're we actually going to use that money for? |
|
AliotoFagina: reacquiring and repeatedly resigning Moises Alou |
|
DukeNeukom: you enjoy your job, mario? |
|
AliotoFagina: yes sir, it was p. fun until this season. Now I mostly sit around playing Sudoku on my cell phone |
|
RideTheSabean: Let's uh... let's move on, shall we! Oh look, here's a treat! |
|
RideTheSabean: Mr. Neukom, I'd like to introduce you to Ann Wooley of HOK Sport, she helped design and plan AT&T Park! |
|
DukeNeukom: Wow! That's quite an undertaking! How did you get that off the ground? |
 |
WooleyBully: It was simple: we asked Barry Bonds to stand near the bay, and then we built the stadium around him. |
|
RideTheSabean: Oh, uh, have I introduced you to Lisa Pantages? Lisa is our Vice President, Finance. |
 |
AdhesivePantages: Hello, Mr. Neukom! |
|
RideTheSabean: Lisa oversees the daily financial operations of the club. |
|
AdhesivePantages: And it's tough, because until recently almost all of our money went to paying Barry Bonds. |
|
AdhesivePantages: He made 16 million dollars last year. For comparison, we pay Tim Lincecum $5.25 an hour. We have to scrape to find paychecks for our Sergio Romos. |
|
AdhesivePantages: So what I had to do was start by deducting Barry's salary, and then... |
|
DukeNeukom: ...bill everything around Barry Bonds. |
|
AdhesivePantages: /touches nose |
|
DukeNeukom: Brian, this is increasingly depressing. Can't we forget about this for now and meet some of the- |
|
DukeNeukom: -say, is that fellow wearing an Indians hat? |
|
RideTheSabean: That's just Ben. He plays for Cleveland, but we keep him around because he's got a funny screen name. |
 |
BenFranciscoGiants: 'sup |
|
RideTheSabean: he's young and talented, we don't have a place on our 40-man roster for a player like that. |
|
BenFranciscoGiants: ay old man |
|
DukeNeukom: Yes? Are you speaking to me? |
|
BenFranciscoGiants: ay old man you like barry bonds |
|
DukeNeukom: Do I like Barry Bonds? |
|
BenFranciscoGiants: *clicks tongue* yeah barry bonds pretty good aint he |
|
RideTheSabean: /ushers Nuekom down corridor
I don't want you to get the wrong impression about our organization, we're going through a "rebuilding stage"
|
|
RideTheSabean: in other words, we're looking for a new person to "rebuild" the team around |
|
DukeNeukom: And who is this gentleman? |
|
RideTheSabean: who is... who? /looks up from clipboard |
 |
GoldBonds: /makes "call me" gesture with hand |
|
RideTheSabean: this is... /flips through pages
I think this is the janitor?
|
|
GoldBonds: no im not the janitor yet but i just got finish talkin to em and they said theyd look at my resume and gimme a call back |
|
DukeNeukom: That's a sharp shirt! Say, you happen to play any ball? |
|
GoldBonds: i play many ball sir |
|
RideTheSabean: Please Mr. Neukom, we don't have time to chat with fans, we need to move on with the tour. |
|
DukeNeukom: All right, all right. /puts hand on boy's shoulder |
|
DukeNeukom: Listen to me, son. You work hard to get that janitors position, you do the best damn job you can do, and maybe one day people around here'll know YOUR name! |
|
GoldBonds: wait i gotta work to be janitor
maybe i can just stand in the closet
|
|
DukeNeukom: It's worth it! Look at everything around you! |
|
GoldBonds: everything around me has nothing to do with barry bonds |
One of the longest running complaints about the Dugout is that we don't cover your favorite team (assuming that your favorite team isn't the Yankees, the Red Sox, or whoever Farnsworth plays for). This happens a lot with the Pirates and the Mariners. It occasionally happens with the Giants, and it almost always comes with these two talking points:
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
9-19-2008 @ 9:33AM
Knasty Mike said...
RideTheSabean? Did you guys really just make a reference to the world's foremost vibrator?
Reply