Thanks for allowing me this forum to describe my pain from a kidney stone.
It started at a relatives house on Thanksgiving some time ago.
First, it felt like a really bad stomach ache and I made several trips to and fro the restroom.
Than the pain travels to the back, sitting was no good, laying down didn't help and standing just didn't cut it.
The fact that I was driving home from the relatives at the time really didn't help.Yes the pain is so horrible you literally will try to stand and lay down while driving in the hopes of lessening the pain, hell you'll do anything if you thinks it'll even remotely help.
Now I find myself having to pull over into a truck stop because its back to the restroom where I'm on the toilet with my head in a bucket because you guessed it, I have simultaneous diahrrea and projectial vomiting.This is not what Chick Hearn meant by "simulcast."
By the way I know its been some time since that night but I apologize to everyone at that truck stop,somewhere between San Bernardino and Pomona off the 60 fwy, who came across my vomit in the parking lot that evening,it looked like a huge souffle.You'll excuse me for not stopping to clean it up.
Oh and did I say that somewhere in the midst of all this pain your balls begin to ache, I mean really really ache.Ache to the point that castration is a thought.No joke, it hurts that bad.
You know how when you have a bad tooth ache you are willing to pull it out with pliers?
Now I stop at the first hospital emergency room,somewhere in Pomona off the 60, and I am howling in extreme pain, no I'm not afraid to admit I was crying tears and all, and get the biggest a-hole security guard in the business telling me if I don't shut up I'll have to leave.
If he's reading this you're still a big a-hole.
Now you may have heard that a guy with a kidney stone is a lot like a woman going into labor, so I recommend to all security guards never threaten to remove from the grounds a pregnant woman "or" a guy with a stone!
By the way can you even throw someone out of an emergency room for being in extreme pain?
And, when did hopsital security guards become trained in subjective and objective signs and symptoms needed in making an assesment of a patient?
So they put me into a side room used for women in labor, laugh all you want but that's exactly where a guy with a stone should be.
Once into the emergency room I vomit a few more times before finally being hooked up to an i.v. and within mere seconds of something, to this day I know not what, being instilled into my vein all pain stops and I am very high as a very grateful kite.
The Doctor beamed with pride and you would've thought he had just cured cancer, but I don't care how full of himself that guy was he had healed me.
And, to the best of my knowledge I never passed that stone.
But as any other dude who has ever experienced a stone will tell you, from that day on whenever you get a tightness in the back or a heavy feeling down in the boys, before afraid be very afraid.

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