The Dugout: ALCS Game 7 Recap

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Who the hell would've thunk it?

After a game like that, even an unprofessional, jobless hack like myself has to put aside the jokes and give the propers where they're due. So instead of doing a Dugout tonight full of pop culture references and off-topic cursing, I've decided to recap the game for those who didn't see it, and report the events of the night as closely as possible to the way they happened.

Tonight's ALCS box score and recap are after the jump.

The Dugout

	TBS Online Host Welcome to game 7 of the American League Championship Series between the Boston Red Sox and the Tampa Bay Rays! ::Top of the 1st::
	ChasingGarz: /takes breath, gets ready for the biggest game of his life
	ChasingGarz: /winds up /throws fastball
	NotPedroiaLookingFor: /swings
	Online Host NotPedroiaLookingFor has hit a deep fly ball to left field!
	Crawfish: /runs at full speed

	CedricTheInternetter: ooh wee look at that fine woman
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: Ced, when I see that woman, I'm like Shaq doing Shakespeare - I just don't know how to act!
	CedricTheInternetter: damn steve you ever take a dookie, but it ain't the dookie you want to take
	CedricTheInternetter: its the dookie the dookie want to take
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: hey do you remember this classic soul song /plays "Me and Mrs. Jones" by Billy Paul
	CedricTheInternetter: heeeeey /raises arms over head, dances
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: /smiles, adjusts buttons on zoot suit

	TBS Online Host Welcome back to the Bottom of the 5th. The Red Sox lead 1-0! There are two on with no outs!
	RoccosModernLife: /tries to get mitochondria in order, or whatever
	ChildrenOfALesterGod: /readies pitch Wait, am I using the right buddy icon? This doesn't seem right...
	NotPedroiaLookingFor: No man I think you're using mine
	ChildrenOfALesterGod: sh** hold on a sec
	ChildrenOfALesterGod: there, is this one me
	NotPedroiaLookingFor: I don't know, isn't that Jed Lowrie?
	EllsburyDoughboy: That's not you, now you're Jacoby Ellsbury!
	RoccosModernLife: ARGH YOU ALL LOOK THE SAME JUST PITCH THE BALL, I'M GETTING UNUSUALLY FATIGUED OUT HERE
	ChildrenOfALesterGod: sry /pitches
	RoccosModernLife: /swings with last bit of might

	bush_league: /squints eyes
	bush_league: My fellow Americans! A-heh heh! With the faultering economy and gas prices at an all time high! "Strategery!"
	CantWalkWithoutMcCain: I'm a half-assed impression of John McCain and I approve this ad!
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: lol boy you a trip
	CedricTheInternetter: this white boy so crazy he think "impeachment" a fruit-flavored breath mint!
	LargeHadronCaliendo: now hey guys! /makes quizzical "straight man" face
	Online Host FrankTV, only on TBS!

	Online Host Welcome back to the Top of the 8th. The Red Sox are down 3-1! There are two on with two outs!
	RadBradford: /mind is a cacophony of cowbells, cheers, and lame comments like "if you give the Red Sox life they will take the life from you!" courtesy of the TBS Broadcast Team
	sacrament_of_youkilis: /steps in
	RadBradford: /rolls ball on ground four times
	sacrament_of_youkilis: welp /walks to first
	RadBradford: d'ooohhh thought that'd work
	Online Host RadBradford has left the chatroom. The bases are now loaded!
	WhatPriceGlory: let me try throwing the ball in the air, see if that works /throws pitch
	MyNameIsSlimJD: /swings
	Online Host Strike 1!
	WhatPriceGlory: /throws pitch
	MyNameIsSlimJD: /swings
	Online Host Strike 2! The crowd is going crazy!
	WhatPriceGlory: oh man oh man oh man /throws best pitch
	MyNameIsSlimJD: /swings

	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: i can't believe romeo though that get-rich-quick scheme would work, stealin' my checkbook... ain't earned him nothin' but a ass whoopen from his mama
	Laugh Track HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: you know, ced, I lurnt somethin' today
	CedricTheInternetter: we been in some crazy ass sitch-e-ations today, what you learn
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: I learned that just because you ain't the biggest dog in the fight don't mean you ain't got the biggest fight inside of you.
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: ey man, sometimes miracles happen, you know? Sometimes it don't work out like you expected it to when you started.
	CedricTheInternetter: yeah, I feel you /gives rhythmic handshake
	CedricTheInternetter: and ey, I think I learned something too, you know
	IBelieveInSteveHarvey: what's that, ced
	CedricTheInternetter: i learned yo' checks do more bouncing than nell carter on a pogo stick.
	Laugh Track HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH woooooo /clap clap clap clap

	P.S. the rays won

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

10-20-2008 @ 7:34AM

Donut King said...

http://deadspin.com/5065580/tbs-baseball-coverage-epic-fail

Because "Epic Fail" makes for a great headline just about ALL the time.

Good stuff B.

10-20-2008 @ 9:02AM

Tetelestia said...

pour ray sogs thay no good widou many

10-21-2008 @ 2:38PM

joejorn56 said...

And why did they put on Steve Harvey? Couldn't anyone find the Fresh Prince tapes? That outfit has really gone downhill.

10-21-2008 @ 9:55PM

Steven said...

You definitely nailed the type of humor Caliendo conveys in his Bush impression. It's basically a one joke act, with his Bush mispronuncing words or taking a long time to complete sentences, which the real President doesn't really do. He gives his Madden a similar speech impetiment, just as a way for him to buy time and think up jokes on the spot, but when the stammering goes on too long without a killer punchline, Caliendo just looks bad.

I don't know if you've seen his stand up, but he admits he doesn't update his act. It's just the same set up and jokes night after night. He's basically just become an overexposed commedian with shallow material that talks to himself.