The Dugout: World Tour

Lost in all this World Series hullabaloo and the discussions about who did what right or wrong is the very serious issue of a Guitar Hero commercial where some people we know get in their underwear and dance around like the freewheelin' Tom Cruise circa 1983. If you haven't seen it yet, here it is:

Tonight's Dugout may be stopped in the middle and continued two days from now, but read what you can after the jump.

The Dugout

	PumpingHawk: With the downloadable content you can play every track on Death Magnetic, which rocks.
	MichaelFishman: Huh. /looks at back of game case
	PumpingHawk: but then there's a Tokio Hotel song, which makes the whole thing about as hardcore as the Katamari Damacy soundtrack.
	MichaelFishman: whoa, you can play a Mars Volta song?
	PumpingHawk: yep, the game comes with a glockenspiel, a set of maracas, a sackbutt, and a USB washboard so you can play it realistically. Now the game costs $3500.
	YTuMambaTambien: sure was nice of alex to invite us to his... what is this again
	MichaelFishman: his "love shack"
	YTuMambaTambien: aw man i shouldn't be here, i hate shack
	PumpingHawk: What's the difference between a house and a love shack? What do you even do in a love shack?
	MichaelFishman: huggin' an' a kissin', dancin' an' a lovin', wearin' next to nothin' cause it's hot as an oven. The whole shack shimmies, when everybody's movin' around and around and around and around!
	YTuMambaTambien: uh
	PumpingHawk: everyone remain perfectly still
	Online Host RitchieBitch has entered the chatroom.
	PumpingHawk: ask the guy from the Iron Maiden covers, maybe he knows what we're supposed to be doing here
	RitchieBitch: /silently sets up video camera
	MichaelFishman: that's not Eddie the Head, that's Madonna! Wow, Ms. Madonna, I've wanted to meet you since I was little!
	PumpingHawk: yeah back in 1982 when I was 25 years old I thought you were really hot!
	YTuMambaTambien: oh wow since i was a baby boy i have dreamed of one day forcefully tearing your anus
	RitchieBitch: /passes out flyer labeled "Rules For Talking To Madonna"
	Online Host RitchieBitch has left the chatroom.
	YTuMambaTambien: i'm sorry, what i meant to say is "allegedly tear your anus," i don't REALLY wanna do it, i was just playen' aw she gone
	Online Host e5_rod has entered the chatroom.
	e5_rod: OGAY HOOS READY FOR SOME GUITAR REARO??? /thrusts hips
	MichaelFishman: I am! I'm pretty excited to play Negramaro.
	PumpingHawk: Wait, Johnny B. Badd has a song on here?? /looks at back of game case
	e5_rod: SORRY BEACHESS, TONIGH WE ARE PLAYINGK 30 SECONS TO MARSE
	PumpingHawk: D'oh, can we play "About a Girl" instead? I've been dying to play that!
	e5_rod: NO, THAT VERSION ES UNPLUGGED, AN aRAH PERFERS TO BE PLUGGED
	e5_rod: "THE GILL" IS A FUN SONGK TO PLAY, PUT IT IN AN LET ME SHOW JOO HOW GOOD MARSE IS
	YTuMambaTambien: hey alex, what are you holding, is that a pile of pink dress shirts
	e5_rod: OH LORTY I ALMOSE FORGOT /hands out shirts
	MichaelFishman: Are we supposed to wear these?
	e5_rod: GET INTO THE PINK, CHOLO, I KNOW ES CONFUSINGK AN UNCOMFORTABLE BUT TRUSS ME
	Online Host Everyone in the room has put on a pink dress shirt.
	MichaelFishman: hey, this isn't a bad fit!
	YTuMambaTambien: yeah i think i look pretty good in this
	e5_rod: NOW ERRYBODY DROP JOOR PANTS
	PumpingHawk: ...
	e5_rod: YOUR HERT ME, TAKE OFF JOOR SLACKS, CHACK /turns on video camera
	YTuMambaTambien: aw hell naw
	PumpingHawk: Hold on a minute, Alex, I'm not comfortable doing this. I'm not comfortable with any of this. I'm not gay!
	MichaelFishman: I didn't get rock hard abs, shave my entire body, and cavort about in a speedo to get hit on by a dude!
	YTuMambaTambien: yea count me out, an what's with the video camera
	PumpingHawk: We don't want any part of this!
	e5_rod: LOL
	e5_rod: LOOOOOOOOOOL ARE JOO SERIOUS
	e5_rod: THE GUITAR REARO PEOPLE AXED aRAH TO FILM A COMMERCIAL FOR THEM WITH CELEBRITY FRIEN' HAVINGK FUN
	e5_rod: WE WERE GONNA DANCE TO BOB SEGARCE HIT SONGK "OL TIME ROGGANROLL" LIKE IN RISKY BUISNESS
	PumpingHawk: Wait, so you don't want to have sex with us?
	e5_rod: OH PLEACE JOO ARE OLT, PHELPS LOOGS LIKE KARL THE GIAN' FROM BIG FISH, AN aRAH COUL NOT EVEN SIT ON A SITTY BUS WITH KOBE WITHOUT RAPEX
	YTuMambaTambien: "allegedly sit on a city bus"
	e5_rod: BUT SERIOUSLY WHICH ONE OF US HAS MADONNA WANDERINGK AROUND THEIR LOVE SHAGK
	e5_rod: IS IT JOO, TONNY HAWGK GET OUT OF MY LOVE SHAGK, ALL OF JOO!!
	Online Host e5_rod has kicked PumpingHawk, MichaelFishman, and YTuMambaTambien from the chatroom.
	e5_rod: ANT STAY OUT!!!! /slams door
	e5_rod: /opens door AN HEY KOBE, STOP DOUBLE CLUTCHING EVERY TIME JOO DUNGK, I HATE THE CLUTCH /slams door
	RitchieBitch: I heard some commotion, is everything okay?
	e5_rod: THOSE INTOLEREN JERKS RUENT MY GUITAR GAME COMMERCIAL
	RitchieBitch: Oh, I'm so sorry! Do you want to have some sex with me instead?
	e5_rod: LOL NO

Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

10-30-2008 @ 2:10AM

chokexonxfailure said...

The Johnny B. Badd joke was a great pull that, like, 5 people will get.

10-30-2008 @ 4:26AM

ForceEight said...

Marc Mero?

Also, the Kobe/A-Rod double insult was hysterical.

11-04-2008 @ 7:34PM

marinerhousewife said...

A-Rah's accent is sometimes the only thing that can bring a smile to my face. Also, I dream that someday I will wordlessly enter a room and pass out a flyer labeled "Rules For Talking To Mariner Housewife".

But even after all that, what I am taking away from this is my sadness that there is still no Katamari Damacy game for the Wii.