The Dugout: Movin' On/The End

What's great is that that guy on the right can reuse his sign if it doesn't snow in Philadelphia until January. Why did he draw snowflakes in the corners? Did he need to fill the negative space that badly? Maybe this is his 756th sign and there was a problem.

In case you did not read part 1 and are unable to scroll your browser down slightly, tonight's Dugout is a two-parter that seeks to celebrate the accomplishment that is winning a World Series and condemn any team that did not win said Series as a "bad team." Maybe it's the Cleveland sports fan in me. If you made it to the World Series and won 1 game your season has ended in SHAME and MISERY for all who support you! Sign Mark Teixeira and call me when it's next September!

Wait, what am I typing again? Part 2 actually contains an undercurrent of "yay Phillies" while maintaining that "uh oh, everyone else" thing I've been bred to feel. Part 2 of 2 is after the jump.

The Dugout

	phillie_phanatic: /opens letter from Jim Thome
	phillie_phanatic: /reads letter while making exagerated head scratching motions
	phillie_phanatic: /crunches up letter /puts letter in mouth /thrusts hips /does pratfall off of parade float
	Online Host Meanwhile, in Boston...
	tekWar: ...and our stunning, illogical loss to the Phillies in the World Series is going to be my final game in a Sox uniform.
	EllsburyDoughboy: yeah!! they wouldn't even let us PLAY those games!! the hell was that about?
	tekWar: I want to say that what an honor it has been to be the Captain of the White Team this year.
	tekWar: Before I go, I want to step down and officially name Dustin Pedroia as the new captain of the Boston Red Sox! which one of you is dustin
	LowrieSeasoningSalt: me, I think! /approaches lecturn
	NotPedroiaLookingFor: You aren't Pedroia, Pedroia's that guy over there with the bat.
	EllsburyDoughboy: I can't be Pedroia, I still have a full head of hair.
	ChildrenOfALesterGod: is it me?
	LittleJustin: 'EAR ME NOW! Dat rude boi Pedroia is bloodclot, seen?
	sacrament_of_youkilis: Just give it to me, Tek, at least you can tell which one I am.
	tekWar: No, no, I'm just going to put the C right here on the lecturn and let you figure it out amongst yourselves. I've got to get to a meeting, Boras is trying to sell me to the Tigers.
	sacrament_of_youkilis: Whoa, wait, you're going to Detroit?
	EllsburyDoughboy: why do you want to play in Detroit?
	tekWar: argh I'm going snow blind nobody wants to play for Detroit, I've just gotta go where the job is
	NotPedroiaLookingFor: doesn't Kyle Farnsworth play for Detroit?
	tekWar: uhhhh, not if everything goes according to plan...
	pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth: 'sup twinsies
	Online Host Meanwhile, in Milwaukee...
	GoldBonds: /walks out of clubhouse, cracks knuckles weeeeelllp, sure is a shame the brewers dont wanna offer me extra of the money looks like i gotta be a free agent
	BalsamAndSedar: tough break, Bill! All our money's going t'keeping C.C., we don't even have enough to pay Prince!
	GoldBonds: bill who are you addressing as "bill"
	GoldBonds: pish what do you even know about baseball fool who are you your face looks like a damn footprint look like somebody let the air out a scott norton
	GoldBonds: if the brewers do not have enough money to pay barry bonds what he is worth, what it takes to put food on barry bonds table, barry bonds will take his services elsewhere
	BalsamAndSedar: Barry Bonds? You don't even play for us. Don't you still play for the Giants?
	GoldBonds: i dont know, maybe
	GoldBonds: no
	GoldBonds: excuse me how far is it from here to new britain i heard they have a team who will take anybody
	BalsamAndSedar: you go East for about 20 hours
	GoldBonds: could you print out some mapquest for me
	BalsamAndSedar: Sure, if you give me some money. Paper ain't free, you know.
	GoldBonds: could i hit a home run for you instead
	BalsamAndSedar: no
	GoldBonds: f*** you then taint-face
	Online Host Meanwhile, in New York...
	Ponson1LegAtATime: GRAHH GRAHHHH /angrily gnaws bars of cage
	HanksForNothing: Hold him! Hold him down!
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: I'm TRYIN'! It's like bearhuggin' a fat horse! [Expletive]!
	HanksForNothing: Okay.... /tosses raw T-bone through doorway NOW! NOW! NOW!
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: SHIIIIII- /lets go
	Ponson1LegAtATime: NYARRRRRRRR /chases after meat in a slobbery deluge of mess
	Online Host Ponson1LegAtATime has left the chatroom.
	HanksForNothing: /hurridly closes door Whew, we did it!
	BetweenHeavenAndHal: What is this, bile? Aww.. /shakes off hands
	HanksForNothing: His body naturally secretes a bacon grease-like oil when he's nervous, don't worry, it'll come off if you scru- Sorry, can I help you sir?
	MannyBoutTown: yeah, is this new york
	HanksForNothing: Why yes, yes it is!
	MannyBoutTown: /flips dreadlocks Let's do this thing.

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

11-02-2008 @ 7:36PM

Barclay said...

I dunno how to feel about Manny going to New York. Part of me would be happy if the Yanks overpaid him and he threw another fit like he did in Boston and stopped trying. But I hate Manny so bad that I'd be upset he got another 80 million despite F'ing over the Sox so badly.

At least he makes for intriguing and entertaining Dugouts.