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KingOfPap: /trudges to neighbor's doorstep, banging plastic jack-o-lantern bucket against leg with every step
/rings doorbell
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man: /opens door
Well hello! And who might you be?
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KingOfPap: im a gost
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man: A ghost, huh?
Young man, did you know that Halloween is a celebration of Satan?
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KingOfPap: nop
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man: Well, it is. Every Halloween, my family and I prefer to celebrate Jesus' birthday instead! Would you like some birthday cake?
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KingOfPap: no thx just candy
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man: Tell you what! You should celebrate too! Here's a birthday hat!
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KingOfPap: k
can i have candy plz
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man: Well you know what, I have something for you that's so much better than candy.
/tosses "Would You Like To Know God Personally?" tract in bucket
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KingOfPap: /opens, observes illustration
y is there a chasm here
y cant god just build a bridge
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KingOfPap: y do u have to circmnavigate a cross to get to the othr side
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man: The Lord works in mysterious ways!
/shuts door
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KingOfPap: :(
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KingOfPap: hmmz
/puts on birthday hat under sheet
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KingOfPap: . . .
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KingOfPap: popelbon!
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KingOfPap: /trudges back to street, banging plastic jack-o-lantern bucket against leg with every step
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: the f***
bitch i'm kill you in half
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: eat my s*** supremabitch
/flings bat
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KingOfPap: o no
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**OnlineHost** The bat has hit Jonathan Papelbon in the hat and knocked off his costume.
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KingOfPap: u ruind my popelbon costum!!!
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: what
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: ain't worth it brah he just a f***in dumbass
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KingOfPap: what u guys doin
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: trick a treatin
ya want some i cain't eat it all
/produces blood-stained box of Fruit by the Foot
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KingOfPap: nop givs me cavitys
welp
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: welp
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: welp
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KingOfPap: ummmmmmm
u want to play spies
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: spies
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KingOfPap: ya i can be agent dangr and fin out who has th best candy
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: /shrugs
aight
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KingOfPap: ok action plan go!
/trudges to another doorstep, banging plastic jack-o-lantern bucket against leg with every step
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: think thats the most dumb f***in dude ive ever met
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KingOfPap: /rings doorbell
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old_woman: Hello, young man! Who are you dressed up as?
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KingOfPap: jon paplbon
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old_woman: You look just like the real Jonathan Papelbon! You're so precious!
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KingOfPap: thx but im the real jon paplbon
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old_woman: /chuckles
Maybe someday, little man!
/dumps three Tootsie Rolls in bucket
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KingOfPap: ok thx but for rly im the real jon paplbon
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old_woman: You'd best get along, little boy, before your mother gets worried! Be safe, pumpkin!
/shuts door
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KingOfPap: grrrrrrrr
/stomps back to street, banging plastic jack-o-lantern bucket against leg with every step
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SteakGrowsOnDmitri: well
sup brah
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KingOfPap: /points to house
u need to go chok that bich out
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DudeYerGettinADelmon: why
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KingOfPap: shes yearnin fr a learnin
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If you're old enough to read this, you're old enough to not go trick-or-treating. You are permitted to go to a friend's hipster Halloween party ironically dressed as George Michael from WHAM! (or, if you're a woman, George Michael from WHAM!), but under no circumstances are you to go door-to-door with your nonsense.
Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Uh oh. Paps has been corrupted by the boom-bitching power of Young. This isn't going to end well....
No no no . . . this will go just swimmingly for all involved. Just you watch, bro!
This better be the first of three parts, maybe as holiday specials. I want Pap to continue his descent into the real side, or Delmon to really get into playing spies.
I must confess, I fully expected a Young to ask what spies do.
classic
This has so much potential
I actually went as Jonathan Papelbon for Halloween at work today.
haha i went as tek
Dude so did I. It's all I have.
One of George Michael's known screen-names is masked_shagger!
I'll admit I was hoping for a while that Jed Lowrie would be Papelbon's new spies partner, but the Brothers Young? More than acceptable.
This is brilliance. Hilarious!