I'm watching the Steelers wrap up a solid victory over the Redskins, sparing me hours of stupid Super Bowl hype at work tomorrow. That being said, Roger Clemens is a complete fool.
Keith Ellison, the district judge overseeing Roger's defamation suit against Brian McNamee, is
thinking about dismissing the case entirely. This would leave him, appropriately enough, screwed without leave. And just in case you begin feeling sorry for the potential Hall of Famer, here's a Dugout to remind you that Roger played the soggy drum set with a 15 year old girl.
Am I committing slander myself by saying such things? Bloggin' knows no rules. Bloggin'.
The Dugout
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**OnlineHost** Welcome to Courthouse Chat!
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OldLOL: /flips through New York Post
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Secretary: OK, Keith. I will.
/hangs up phone
Mr. Clemens?
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OldLOL: I don't even know why I read this garbage. Tell me if this makes any sense to you:
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OldLOL: "Red (Sox) States: Schilling Says McCain Can Beat Obama's 'Yankees'
Campaigning with John McCain this weekend, Curt Schilling compared the big-spending Barack Obama team to the New York Yankees and reportedly said the Democratic Presidential candidate was more like Derek Jeter than Alex Rodriguez.
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OldLOL: "While Schilling said he believes Obama is well-intentioned -- more of a Derek Jeter than an A-Rod -- he questioned the Democrat's judgment." |
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OldLOL: It's given that every person outside of Assachusetts hates the blathering, qualified-as-cake-farts-dot-com, f*** s*** that is Curt Schilling, right? |
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OldLOL: Naturally, he nonchalantly strolls up to the only people blind enough to support him and kicks their moronically stubborn blue (Democratic) balls (loyalty votes) out of the park (into their throats)? |
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OldLOL: And, what? People in New York or any of the other blue states are supposed to be impressed by his radical, quasi-retarded employment of the cutting edge literary tool the young people are referring to as "comparison"? To a team everyone else hates? Calling to question the judgement of one of baseball's most iconic players? |
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OldLOL: We see through the smoke and mirrors, Curt, and your tiny d*** is still flapping in the breeze. Am I right? |
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Secretary: ...Mr. Ellison will see you now. |
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OldLOL: Are you 18? |
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**Online Host** Secretary has left the chat room |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: Mr. Clemens, I'm glad you could make it. |
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OldLOL: Hey is the secretary your wife? |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: No. |
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OldLOL: OH man. I'd salt her rim and eat the worm if you catch my drift. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: She's my daughter. |
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OldLOL: Oh. Well, your wife was probably a dimepiece when she was her age. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: She's 13. |
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OldLOL: The scale usually only goes up to 10, but I see where you're coming from. Hot damn. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: I'm throwing your defamation suit out of court. |
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OldLOL: That's bulls***, man! My livelihood is at stake. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: From what I've seen it appears that everything Mr. McNamee said was within his legal rights. |
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OldLOL: He could single-handedly keep me from attaining Hall of Fame immortality. Being immortal is, from what I'm told, baddd. Ass. Look at the first sworn statement he submitted. It's loaded with slander. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: Well let's see. Here's the section where he describes your character: |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: "Roger Clemens is a pedophile. He constantly harassed my daughter. My brother wouldn't allow my nieces to attend pool parties. He made out with my dog, who was only 3 weeks old. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: "He has a dumb accent he fakes to get underage chicks. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: "Last winter I saw him on the side of the road with a sign that said 'Will deflower youths for nominal fee'. |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: "He did steroids." |
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OldLOL: See!? Complete defamation of character! |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: I'm sorry, Mr. Clemens, but I don't see any reason to believe that anything he is saying isn't true yet. In order for this to be slander per se I'd need to know the statements to be false. |
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OldLOL: Really? If I did steroids, could I do this? |
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OldLOL: /stands on one foot |
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ThisWorldIsKillingMe: I really don't know. Most likely. |
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OldLOL: Well would I do this? |
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OldLOL: /peaks out window at teenage girl tying shoe |
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TheWorldIsKillingMe: Get out of my office. |
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OldLOL: Can I keep this picture of you and your daughter? |
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TheWorldIsKillingMe: That's me and a fish I caught. |
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OldLOL: The fish is 18, you say? |
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Photos link to player info. WordUpThome.com Photo Credit: Getty, Creative Commons
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-04-2008 @ 9:25AM
Cubfan786 said...
LOOOOOOL
The fish is 18
CLASSIC
Reply
11-04-2008 @ 10:10AM
Donut King said...
Damnit. I hate both Schilling AND Clemens! Awful dichotomy!
Great Dugout though.
Reply
11-04-2008 @ 3:43PM
delorean said...
wrong "peeks"
Reply