Last Tuesday, I voted for the first time in my life. And hey, all political leanings and arguments aside, you know what's going to be nice? Having a
confident man as President. I don't care if he comes to my door and smashes my belongings with a hammer and sickle, if he goes on TV and looks like he means what he's saying I'll call it a push.
Obama has appeared in
one other Dugout, but we didn't give him the celebration strip he deserves. Tonight's unapologetically moderate Dugout is after the jump.
The Dugout
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**Online Host**
Welcome to the Chicago White Sox Clubhouse Chatroom! |
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BlastOffBuzard: Now, President-Elect Obama is going to be here any minute, so we need you all to be on your best behavior. |
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AtCarlosQuentin: great, they sent the fat guy from Head of the Class to patronize us |
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BlastOffBuzard: I assure you, I am the highest ranking member of the Front Office available for this event. |
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TheKillingFields: What about Fabian? |
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BlastOffBuzard: He is currently performing on American Bandstand. |
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AtCarlosQuentin: What about Eddie Einhorn? |
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BlastOffBuzard: Come on, look at how long your neck is. You know as well as anyone that Einhorn never plays with longnecks. |
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CarrascoSauce: What's Reinsdorf doing? |
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BlastOffBuzard: Mr. Reinsdorf is currently using leather straps to restrain a midget who was attempting to explain the game of golf. |
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BlastOffBuzard: /waits for everybody to get that |
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WordUpThome: LOL |
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BlastOffBuzard: and yeah okay I'm the fat Dave Barry but I'm also kinda sorta your boss so if you could just shut up and listen to what I have to say I would appreciate it. |
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BlastOffBuzard: under no circumstances are you to ask Obama about being a socialist. |
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CarrascoSauce: D'oh! That was going to be my first question! I was going to call him a socialist! |
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WordUpThome: I THINK IT IS GREAT THAT OUR NEW PRESIDENT IS A SOCIALIST |
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WordUpThome: I WOULD HATE FOR HIM TO BE COOPED UP ALL BY HIS LONESOME, NEVER GETTING OUT AND MEETING ANYBODY |
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BlastOffBuzard: Also you are not to bring up Obama being a secret-Muslim or mention any aspect of his Islamic ties and background. |
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CarrascoSauce: dammit this site isn't helping me with questions at all /closes EVERY FORUM ON THE INTERNET |
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WordUpThome: IS BARAGOBAMA A MUSLIM; I WEREN'T AWARE |
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AtCarlosQuentin: no |
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TheKillingFields: YES. And it sucks! |
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WordUpThome: WHY WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A MUSLIM |
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TheKillingFields: uhhhh, well, OSAMA BIN LADEN!!? |
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WordUpThome: EXTRAPOLATE |
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TheKillingFields: .... |
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WordUpThome: |
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TheKillingFields: /smiles awkwardly |
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WordUpThome: YOU ARE DUMB |
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BlastOffBuzard: Lastly and most obviously, do not put your hands on Obama. He will be surrounded by 9-feet of plexiglass at all times, but even so we have moved Ozzie Guillen to an underground facility for this very reason. |
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BlastOffBuzard: oh and also no referring to me as an obese Rick Springfield in front of the important people |
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BlastOffBuzard: and if any of you watch wrestling, you are at no time allowed to call me "Big Dick Johnson" |
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AtCarlosQuentin: Aw I was gonna do that! I love D-X! They're so funny! |
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WordUpThome: UGH YOU ARE DUMB TOO |
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BlastOffBuzard: oh god here he is, everybody suck in your stomachs |
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**Online Host**
250,000 strong have entered the chatroom in weeping, chanting masses.
SweetHomeAlObama has entered the chatroom.
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SweetHomeAlObama: /waves |
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WordUpThome: LOOK EVERYONE IT IS PRESIDENT-ERECT BARAGOBAMA |
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BlastOffBuzard: aw crap
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Photos link to player info. (Photo Credit: Getty Images) WordUpThome.com
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
11-08-2008 @ 8:51AM
Donut King said...
JI
JIM THOME! You never disappoint, kind sir.
Gobama!
Reply