The Dugout: Hire Willie

It was reported in the middle of the night during a West Coast road trip that former New York Mets head coach Willie Randolph will join former New York Mets coaching instructor/electronics salesman/candle salesman Tom Nieto in the wonderful world of gainful baseball employment. He has been named "bench coach" for the Milwaukee Brewers under new manager Ken Macha. As a lifelong follower of the American League whose only working knowledge of the Mets is Faith and Fear in Flushing, two questions spraing to mind:

1. Why did Willie Randolph settle for bench coach when he probably (probably) could've gotten a better coaching job elsewhere, and
2. Does Getty Images have a hatless picture of Willie Randolph?

The answers are simple. I don't know, and yes! Tonight's Dugout is after the jump.

The Dugout

	SinkOrSveum: Sorry about the mess, Willie, we're going through a "managerial transition."
	BalsamAndSedar: Macha still hasn't decided if he's going to do a realist political theory gimmick in the chatroom or just post a bunch about Robotech.
	SinkOrSveum: We're all taking reduced roles until he decides.
	WillieEverLearn: No I totally understand, they offered me the position of "Emperor For Life" in Seattle and I all I could think was bleh, the Mariners.
	WillieEverLearn: I can't wait to get a hat, though, this hatless picture makes me look like season 1 Carl Winslow.
	WillieEverLearn: soooo, what've you got in store for me here, groundskeeping, janitorial work, bat boy... hmm, what's worse than that?
	SinkOrSveum: For us? Starting pitcher.
	BalsamAndSedar: Nope, you're gonna be the bench coach! You get to coach the bench!
	SinkOrSveum: That means you get to coach everyone the manager isn't currently coaching.
	BalsamAndSedar: Which is no one. Uhhhh unless the manager gets ejected.
	SinkOrSveum: If that happens, we go to a "ghost manager." And if the ghost manager gets busted, you become the manager!
	WillieEverLearn: That sounds like the best possible use of my talent! Tell me, where is your bench located?
	BalsamAndSedar: directly behind you
	WillieEverLearn: /looks around Oh, ha, there it is, I was looking for it in the outfield.
	Bench: /is bench
	WillieEverLearn: /sits down Wow, this is one sturdy, well-made bench!
	BalsamAndSedar: Yep! Held our butts firmly in position all season long!
	SinkOrSveum: In fact, at the start of the season I noted that it was one of the strongest benches I'd seen!
	WillieEverLearn: Hopefully my coaching will make it even stronger! /rubs butt on bench
	Bench: /strengthens
	SinkOrSveum: Wow! By mid-July that bench is going to be the clear frontrunner for National League benches.
	BalsamAndSedar: A World Series quality bench, I'd wager!
	WillieEverLearn: Will you hold onto my butt through late August? Will you, old girl?
	Bench: /maintains structural integrity
	WillieEverLearn: And then in September, when it's time to really shine, we'll
	WillieEverLearn: ACKKKK
	Bench: /completely collapses
	WillieEverLearn: What the hell was that?? Argh, there's wood everywhere!
	SinkOrSveum: You really made a mess of the bats and helmets.
	BalsamAndSedar: The balls are okay, though!
	SinkOrSveum: Yeah you're in the Brewers dugout, which means you didn't get any wood on the ball
	WillieEverLearn: Did you see that? Christ, it just collapsed out of nowhere and I completely fell on my ass. That's never happened before!
	WillieEverLearn: okay maybe once before
	WillieEverLearn: or, uh, twice
	WillieEverLearn: do you see the parallels I am drawing for you here
	BalsamAndSedar: no
	Online Host WeKenMachaDifference has entered the chatroom.
	WeKenMachaDifference: Hey everybody, I thought of a way we could improve the team!
	BalsamAndSedar: how's that, coach
	WeKenMachaDifference: PROTOCULTURE! All we have to do is process the Flower of Life and use the energy source as a catalyst for our ballclub!
	WeKenMachaDifference: anybody here familiar with Tirolian science and engineering?
	SinkOrSveum: no sir, I'm not sure I'm old enough to get that reference
	WeKenMachaDifference: No problem, catch Sabathia before he leaves and send him on an interplanetary scientific expedition to Optera.
	WeKenMachaDifference: Oh, also, I thought of a way to make our team way worse
	BalsamAndSedar: how's that, coach
	WeKenMachaDifference: put Willie Randolph on it